Female masturbation.
Female masturbation. That awkward thing that somebody brings up at a party as a casual joke, and nobody wants to laugh. Why are we so awkward? Why are we so awkward about regular-sized girls in movies, and real conversation, and turning off the TV? That’s for another time, but for now, why are we so awkward? Take the female reproductive body. If you see it from the outside, you may confuse it for an object used for sex.
Ask a 14-year-old girl how old the last person who hit on her was. 30? 40? Older? How can we be inquired of as sexual beings if there is a grey wall in front of the topic of female masturbation? The boys talk about it, so why can’t we? It’s too simple to say that it comes from the patriarchy’s misunderstanding of a woman’s ability to be human. No, instead it might stem from a religious society so concerned about the purity of a woman’s soul that some women could be accused of witchcraft and hung for any type of superior intelligence, or the fact that empowered men in this country still want to have a say in what a woman does with her unborn child. Nonetheless, we have been the secondary human in many societies for years now, getting our clitorises cut off in other societies so that they can get married in order to seem pure. It is quite simple to say that women are not exactly supported in discovering the sexuality of their bodies. However, here are reasons why it may help to open the conversation.
Puberty equals change.
First of all, many things happen in a woman’s adolescent life that can be scary or considered shameful. Besides gaining pubic hair and getting small pimples on their noses, young girls will start their periods and develop strong feelings toward whatever sex they are attracted to. Without discussing all of the aspects of a girl's sexuality, she may grow up feeling guilty, and in turn, give in to confusing sexual messages in order to fully discover more about herself. Having an open discussion about certain things may help her feel less secluded.
Self-hate equal self-destruction.
Although talking about masturbating will not cure the massive problem of self-hatred formed in adolescent girls and boys, bringing light to some of the “non-talk-about-able” topics may make girls feel like they are deserving in understanding the ability to assert themselves sexually, not feel like they are dirty by trying to understand what satisfies them, and also to feel like they can talk about things that boys talk about because they are just as curious and just as deserving of happiness and pleasure as anybody else.
Questions.
Many parents growing up in generations above us don’t always have the answers to questions like self love, or what to do with your imperfect body in a perfect, centric, overexposed world, because although they may have suffered from insecurities and self-hate, they might not even know how little they know about themselves. Religious influence, economic, or social influence also affects their ability to access fair information about girls' sexuality, without coming off as crass or just downright wrong.
Forum.
It seems our generation has a massive desire to communicate with others in wide varieties of communities all over the world that we may not have had access to if we didn’t have the internet. That being said, it would make sense why many young girls go to internet forums like Tumblr, Twitter and Instagram to share thoughts, embrace and discover body positivity, and to connect with girls who have those same budding questions that they can't as their parents, or parental figures.
What might help.
If female masturbation was included in more sex courses and taught by professionals, and not gym teachers, there might be some people who could feel a little less weird or misunderstood, if they recognized that their bodies are fully human, and have the desire to be felt and loved, and touched. And that they may not burn in hell after all.
