30 Stages Of Your Family Vacation As Told By 'Jersey Shore'

30 Stages Of Your Family Vacation As Told By 'Jersey Shore'

"MOMMM, STAHHHP!"
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The cast of the Jersey Shore closely resembles a family, and just like every family, they act a little crazy (okay, maybe crazy is an understatement, but you get the point). Until this moment, you probably never considered the fact that your family and the cast of this hit MTV show actually have a lot in common. You all fight like animals, you cry A LOT, you get a little dramatic, you bond in odd ways, and you're absolutely unpredictable. When you all pack your bags for a family vacation, this resemblance to the Jersey Shore family intensifies. Although it might be wild, it's an experience that everyone should be thankful for.


1. Your parents tell you that you're going on vacation

2. It's the night before you leave and you are just now starting to pack.

3. You get the itinerary finalized and you're ready to go.

4. It's the start of the trip and you're actually getting along with your siblings.

5. You're still in the car and everyone's already complaining about your attitude.

6. You find a hot guy in the lobby that just so happens to be your age.

7. Your mom's jokes aren't funny, but you laugh anyway because you're about to ask for some spending money.

8. Arriving at the hotel and jumping on the bed like.

9. It's day one, you're burnt, and your mom's already lecturing you about skin cancer.

10. Ordering dessert at the restaurant because you're on vacation and your parents are ready to spend some money.

11. The lectures about grades, poor choices, and your future begin.

12. Your parents are trying to drag you to some historical monument or whatever.

13. You're with your sibling 24/7 and the bickering begins

14. It's all harmless until they start telling your parents all the stuff that you did while you were gone at school.

15. Getting yelled at for "always being on your phone."

16. Your parents turn the light off to go to bed at 11 PM.

17. But luckily, you and your siblings can take a break from your bickering to go find something to do when they go to bed.

18. Looking over and seeing your sibling drunk and dancing like this.

19. And then you realize how much trouble you're going to get into when your parents notice how much you let them drink.

20. Having to share one bathroom between your entire family and everyone seems to be taking their sweet time.

21. Your family gets mad at you for taking too long to get ready.

22. When your family members fail to take an aesthetically pleasing beach candid of you.

23. Your parents are ready to start the day before the sun is even out.

24. Missing your friends back home.

25. Everyone's stuff is everywhere and your mom says, "We're on vacation, why am I still the only one who does anything around here?"

26. Coming to terms with the fact that your life is not The Notebook and the hot boy from the lobby will not be your summertime love interest.

27. Chowing down on that slightly questionable, but still delicious breakfast buffet.

28. Happily charging a Stouffer's mac and cheese, two candy bars, and a soda to your room, which is linked to your dad's credit card.

29. Packing your bags and realizing that the trip is coming to an end.

30. You go home and realize that although it was an experience, the trip was full of making great memories with your family.

Cover Image Credit: cloudfront

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8 Truisms Of An Only-Child Childhood Everyone Else Should Know, Signed, An Only Child

But really.... do your parents actually have favorites?
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As an only child, I feel it's important to give out a little PSA to correct all the stereotypes we sibling-less children have labeled on our backs.

1. We're not all spoiled

Like... yes, my parents gave me an iPhone. Five years after everyone else got one!! In fact, my parents made it their personal mission to avoid saying "yes" partly for their own satisfaction and partly to avoid raising the spoiled kid. Just because there's only one of us, doesn't mean our parents are gonna splurge their hard earned money on us.

2. It can get lonely

Mom and Dad have to work, the neighbor kids aren't always home, and back in the day, there wasn't Netflix and Snapchat to entertain us all day.

3. We used to worry about our kids not having aunts and uncles

This may sound silly but it was a legitimate concern. Who will spoil my kids since I will obviously refuse to? Will they have any cousins to play with? Will they have the large family gatherings I always wanted to have? That is a lot of pressure to put on your future spouse.

4. Vacations can be interesting

What's a girl to do when her parents want to sit on the condo patio, but she wants to go to the beach? It can be very hard to have back up in these situations, but they almost guarantee you to have excellent persuasive skills later on in life.

5. A lot of people in one place can overwhelm us

Yes, I want to be around people ALL the time. Yes, I also need my space because I was raised in a quiet household. Usually, we'll sneak into our rooms if a huge party is happening downstairs, it's just the way it's going to be.

6. Loud kids are scary but we want 6 of them.

Yes, other people's kids freak me out. Yes, I want a ton of them because first of all, if they are my kids they will be awesome and second of all, I gotta make up for my childhood.

7. We'll never understand what it is like to have more than 3 people living together in one house

How do fights work? Do you all eat dinner together? How often do you share things? Do you hang out as a family often? Do your parents really favorites, and how do you know? These are the questions we want to be answered!

8. And how can siblings fight one minute and be best friends the next?

This dynamic just makes zero sense. Can not compute. We will never understand, probably not even after we have kids of our own.

Cover Image Credit: Kate Alt

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Being The Oldest Child Is Both Liberating And Terrifying, But I Wouldn't Change It For The World

It has instilled in me the power to set an example for my brothers to follow.
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As the oldest of three boys, I have often had to trailblaze a path for my brothers to follow. Every act that lead me to get in trouble, I was the first child to do so. I essentially laid the blueprint for my brothers on what to do and what not to do to get by our parents with ease. As the oldest, I have not had someone that I can confide with on “mature” and “adult” discussions, conundrums and debates. I have not had an individual that I can try and follow in their footsteps.

Personally, I have both enjoyed and had some levels of difficulty. It has dawned on me that not only am I acting for myself, but the actions I display are the ones that my younger brothers look up to and admire. Therefore I must display the best image of myself in order to ensure that they make the right decisions/actions during their development into adulthood.

Growing up as the firstborn has certainly had its perks.

The level of attention I receive is at times overwhelming from both my parents, especially going to a school several hundred miles away from them. They often check in on me, calling me at sporadic periods throughout the day to make sure I’ve gotten up and not missed my 8:30 a.m. class. This is nice and all, but at times it can be a bit much. You can agree with me, right?

At the same time, I am fully aware that my parents are doing it not to be annoying and at times embarrassing, but rather because it is scary sending your first child out into the world without a path to follow. Granted, my parents have both experienced great success in their lives and the path they have created for my family is certainly a bright one. However, they paved their path many years ago and unfortunately, the methods they used to cross this path may be somewhat obsolete for me.

At times, being the oldest is tough.

In terms of discipline, I certainly experienced it the hardest and with the most repercussions. Getting grounded was a common thing for me growing up, not necessarily because my actions were so juvenile, but rather because my parents were learning and adjusting their parenting styles. Now, my brothers rarely get grounded, for acts that would far surpass my mild middle-school phase. All and all I can live with it because, without my help, my brothers wouldn’t have learned the ropes on how to survive in our household.

At times it is liberating and at times it is terrifying, but being the oldest child is something I wouldn’t want to change. I learned how to go through life and grow up on my own accord, without having a big brother or sister there to guide me as I grew. It has allowed me to develop into the person I am today and has instilled in me the power of paving a path for success that one day my brothers will follow.

Cover Image Credit: Chase Gornbein

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