A Letter To Anyone Who Thinks They Are Falling Behind

A Letter To Anyone Who Thinks They Are Falling Behind

Trust in the magic of life and recognize that it's OK to not be okay all the time.
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You're falling behind. The lists of things you need to get done grow exponentially in size while your motivation is lost in oblivion. You try to find your reason through inspirational Pinterest quotes, expensive planners, and motivational articles, but none of it helps. You need to do more, you aren't doing enough. The world around you is moving, progressing, expanding, and you're a tire stuck in mud, sinking deeper with each attempt to get out.

You don't need motivation. You don't need any more lists, you don't need any more vague quotes of inspiration to call you to action.

We act as though success and motivation are the direct results of our single-handed efforts to achieve them. No one talks about the fact that it's so much more than your willpower and goals. There are thousands of other factors that go into play, but we tend to devalue them and place importance solely on the influence we can extend.

You're not a robot. Try as you might, you can't control every situation in your life. Stuff happens. Life happens. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It's complicated and stressful and unexpected, but life sometimes makes you go the longest way around. That's when you learn the biggest lessons.

Everyone has dark periods. Everyone has moments in life where they feel stagnant and unchanged, so they cower under a cloud of self-pity that seems to grow darker each day. But one day, the rain stops, a rainbow comes out, and you emerge from the battle stronger than ever before.

The reality of life is just that: things suck until they don't anymore.

In life, everyone is handed their own deck of cards. Everyone has unique circumstances. Everyone is on different stages in life. With that in mind, take each piece of advice you get from those around you with a grain of salt. They may empathize with part of your situation, but they will never be able to sympathize with the entire story. So much of human unhappiness stems from the idea that things are not supposed to be the way they are right now. A majority of that notion is derived through comparison. If everyone is on their own journey of individualized hopes and battles, comparison is an inaccurate lens through which we only hurt ourselves.

Another part of unhappiness lies in the belief that if we are not content with the way things are right now, that we possess the control to change them. Ideally, you could just snap your fingers and make things work out. In reality, these situations require patience and time.

You have to put in your best efforts, but surrender yourself to the factor of time. You have to give yourself the permission to let whatever happens next happen. You must allow yourself to be whatever and whoever you are at that place and time, whether it's broken, successful, or anything in between.

You have to grant yourself the permission to be a human being.

Sometimes you can do everything right, but the timing is off. That's not you--it's the timing. We have to learn how to not personalize every little factor in life, and instead attribute it to the situation at hand. Sometimes you can't finish the masterpiece because you haven't fully met the inspiration for it yet. Sometimes you may have to be lonely for a period of time in order to learn the lessons of strength that can only be derived from solitude. Sometimes you can't see the whole picture because you don't know all the factors in play.

Sometimes, the timing just isn't right.

You cannot control your experiences entirely. You just can't. No amount of control, manipulation, and planning is going to cheat this system of life. There are countless factors at play, beyond your wildest imagination. It's time to trust in the magic of life and allow yourself to be in every moment just as you are, and recognize that itself is enough.

If you're stuck in a downwards spiral, recognize that. Stop working tirelessly to achieve something that in turn is making you more miserable. Remind yourself of the things that you love, of the components of your identity that remain constant through both the sunshine and rain.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it yet. One day, this moment too will make sense. Until then, permit yourself to be where you are, how you are and who you are in your journey there.

Cover Image Credit: bestwallpapers.club

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Not Only Does Lack Of Sleep Make You Cranky, But It Also Affects Your Relationships

In fact, the lack of sleep affects your ability to fully engage in healthy and long-lasting relationships.

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When I'm sleep deprived, I feel like the world is almost coming to an end. I'm the most cranky and irritable when I experience a lack of sleep. I'm sure many of you can relate to this and the struggles of it. It is one of the worst feelings to have because most of your actions get affected by it.

Sleep is an essential component in our lives because it provides us with the energy and resilience required to tackle memories and obstacles during the day. Usually, people who are sleep deprived will end up forgetting to complete simple tasks such as putting salt while cooking or picking something up from the patio. The inability to forget to do simple tasks stems from the lack of sleep experienced by many young adults like me.

As college students, we tend to underestimate the paramount importance of getting that target "8 hours" of sleep. Feeling sleepy while at a lecture is the eye-catching symptom for most sleep-deprived students and it is something that happens to me. In the same manner, sleep is closely tied to your relationships as well.

Recent studies have highlighted the fact that the amount of sleep you get does indeed affect your relationships. In fact, the lack of sleep affects your ability to fully engage in healthy and long-lasting relationships. You will most likely end up not reciprocating to what your significant other expects from you and that will end up straining the relationship even more. For instance, imagine if your S.O. wants to speak to you about something extremely important i.e. a life-changing decision. If you or your S.O. are sleep deprived, the conversation will go nowhere and chances are both of you will end up fighting.

Hence, sleep is crucial for the longevity of relationships as well as for your mental peace. Establishing a common bedtime is key towards developing a more closer bond with each other. In addition, mutual respect for each other's sleep patterns and work schedules plays a huge role in strengthening a couple's relationship. If both partners are able to balance their respective schedules, then they will still be able to spend some quality time together. Keep in mind, the cliché "8 hours" of sleep is extremely vital for a well-rested mind and body! You will end up becoming more productive throughout the day if you are not sleep deprived.

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