A Letter To Anyone Who Thinks They Are Falling Behind

A Letter To Anyone Who Thinks They Are Falling Behind

Trust in the magic of life and recognize that it's OK to not be okay all the time.
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You're falling behind. The lists of things you need to get done grow exponentially in size while your motivation is lost in oblivion. You try to find your reason through inspirational Pinterest quotes, expensive planners, and motivational articles, but none of it helps. You need to do more, you aren't doing enough. The world around you is moving, progressing, expanding, and you're a tire stuck in mud, sinking deeper with each attempt to get out.

You don't need motivation. You don't need any more lists, you don't need any more vague quotes of inspiration to call you to action.

We act as though success and motivation are the direct results of our single-handed efforts to achieve them. No one talks about the fact that it's so much more than your willpower and goals. There are thousands of other factors that go into play, but we tend to devalue them and place importance solely on the influence we can extend.

You're not a robot. Try as you might, you can't control every situation in your life. Stuff happens. Life happens. The good, the bad, and the ugly. It's complicated and stressful and unexpected, but life sometimes makes you go the longest way around. That's when you learn the biggest lessons.

Everyone has dark periods. Everyone has moments in life where they feel stagnant and unchanged, so they cower under a cloud of self-pity that seems to grow darker each day. But one day, the rain stops, a rainbow comes out, and you emerge from the battle stronger than ever before.

The reality of life is just that: things suck until they don't anymore.

In life, everyone is handed their own deck of cards. Everyone has unique circumstances. Everyone is on different stages in life. With that in mind, take each piece of advice you get from those around you with a grain of salt. They may empathize with part of your situation, but they will never be able to sympathize with the entire story. So much of human unhappiness stems from the idea that things are not supposed to be the way they are right now. A majority of that notion is derived through comparison. If everyone is on their own journey of individualized hopes and battles, comparison is an inaccurate lens through which we only hurt ourselves.

Another part of unhappiness lies in the belief that if we are not content with the way things are right now, that we possess the control to change them. Ideally, you could just snap your fingers and make things work out. In reality, these situations require patience and time.

You have to put in your best efforts, but surrender yourself to the factor of time. You have to give yourself the permission to let whatever happens next happen. You must allow yourself to be whatever and whoever you are at that place and time, whether it's broken, successful, or anything in between.

You have to grant yourself the permission to be a human being.

Sometimes you can do everything right, but the timing is off. That's not you--it's the timing. We have to learn how to not personalize every little factor in life, and instead attribute it to the situation at hand. Sometimes you can't finish the masterpiece because you haven't fully met the inspiration for it yet. Sometimes you may have to be lonely for a period of time in order to learn the lessons of strength that can only be derived from solitude. Sometimes you can't see the whole picture because you don't know all the factors in play.

Sometimes, the timing just isn't right.

You cannot control your experiences entirely. You just can't. No amount of control, manipulation, and planning is going to cheat this system of life. There are countless factors at play, beyond your wildest imagination. It's time to trust in the magic of life and allow yourself to be in every moment just as you are, and recognize that itself is enough.

If you're stuck in a downwards spiral, recognize that. Stop working tirelessly to achieve something that in turn is making you more miserable. Remind yourself of the things that you love, of the components of your identity that remain constant through both the sunshine and rain.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it yet. One day, this moment too will make sense. Until then, permit yourself to be where you are, how you are and who you are in your journey there.

Cover Image Credit: bestwallpapers.club

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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7 Ways To Calm Your Mind, Body, And Soul During An Anxiety Attack

It is OK not to be OK.

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Everyone gets anxiety attacks whether you will admit it or not. Seven little things that help me find my inner peace are ones I feel everyone should be aware of.

1. Try the "5, 4, 3, 2, 1" grounding exercise.

Answer these five questions out loud for sensory awareness:

What are five things you can see?

What are four things you can feel?

What are three things you can hear?

What are two things you can smell?

What is one thing you love about yourself?

2. Try out this breathing .GIF.

Breathe In Help GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

3. Listen to a song that reduces your anxiety.

4. Use some lavender oil.

Rub it on your temples.

Put some on your wrists.

Inhale.

*Calming.*

5. Tense up your muscles (and then relax).

This may sound counter-intuitive, but just give it a try:

Start tensing at your toes and move up through your body — legs, abdomen, arms, neck, and jaw. Hold it for four counts. Then, relax your muscles. Feel the tension melt out of you.

6. Download an app on your phone.

There are my top apps for helping with anxiety (and they are FREE):

"Recolor" (a coloring book app).

"Wordscapes" (like a crossword puzzle).

"PicrossLUNA" (kind of a play-off of sudoku).

"Words With Friends 2" (just like Scrabble).

7. Reach into your freezer and grab an ice cube.

Just one of many distraction methods.

Reach into the freezer and grab an ice cube or an ice pack.

Hold it firmly in your hand.

Place it on your toes.

The idea is to distract your mind from anything else.

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