I'll be extremely honest with y'all: I constantly feel like I'm not enough. This often means not pretty enough or not sociable enough or not kind enough or not funny enough. This isn't something that is anybody's fault, because I'm very grateful for the amazing people in my life that constantly tell me that I am enough. However, one thing I have been battling is not feeling like I'm enough in my faith; like I'm not enough for God.
As I'm writing this, I'm discovering that I've never actually said that to an audience like this one. It wasn't until very recently that I started feeling like this, though.
I attended a conference the first weekend of January, and it was one of the most intimidating things I've done in a while. I knew two people who were going, but that was about it. Throughout the weekend, I had plenty of ups and downs. The ups included making new friends, making the decision to go "all-in" with my faith, learning from some amazing speakers and spending some much needed alone time with God through prayer and reading my bible daily.
The downs included not feeling like I fit in with the "Christian crowd" and not feeling like I knew what I was doing. I didn't feel like I was enough for the people I was around because I had only started learning who Jesus was about a year prior. I didn't feel like I was enough for God for the same reason.
I'm being vulnerable about this right now because should you decide to go "all-in" with your faith, I don't want you to struggle if you start to feel like I did. So, I'd like to share some advice.
1. You will stumble...almost immediately after declaring your faith to the world.
That is okay...I promise. The world is a difficult place and honestly, most of the people you meet will not agree with your new choices. You might lose friends. You might have a hard time kicking old habits. That's okay. As long as you pick yourself back up and keep trying, it'll work out.
2. It will take time.
Things will not go your way at first. That's a fact. It is important to remember that God is the only one who knows what will happen, and you have to trust in that. It's not easy, I can assure you that. You'll want to give up or question God's methods, but it's important to lean on Him and be patient through it all. He has your best interest at heart.
3. You will find your people.
Everybody needs somebody who not only has their back, but who also challenges them to be better. The best part about finding your group is they are your number one fans. They are there to encourage you and to listen to you and to hold you accountable in your walk with God. They are the best people you can be around.
4. You are enough.
Here's where I get really biblical. God literally made you in His image. He made the birds and the flowers just as they are, and they don't question it. So how could God NOT have put even more thought and time and effort into the one thing he created on this Earth with the intention of having it emulate his very wishes and desires for it. We are to be disciples who follow and trust God's plan. You were individually created for that very reason, and you are more than capable of doing so.
These are just a few things I've thought extensively about for the past few weeks, and I wanted to share them with you. It's okay if this doesn't seem like your route or the right ideas for you. Everyone's lives follow different paths. Thank you for letting me share my struggles and thoughts with you though.