Once again, I’ve found myself swept away by the chaos of another semester, in utter disbelief that we have one week of school left before spring break. I’m coming to grips with the fact that everything my older friends and teammates have been saying for so long is spot on: “The older you get, the faster the time flies-especially in college”.
Freshman year seemed to drag on forever and sophomore year wasn’t much different. But now, two short years later, I’m dumbfounded, still trying to figure out where my fall semester went; meanwhile spring semester is almost halfway done too. It seems pretty safe to assume that most people in this phase of life can relate to wishing that the pace of life would just slow down so we could cherish and savor every fleeting moment. It’s crazy to think that in a matter of a couple years, we went from a place of literally being shoved out of our comfort zones, forced to adjust to a new school, a new home, a new schedule and a new lifestyle, to second semester juniors, buzzing around trying to figure out what we are going to do with the rest of our lives.
It is in these final semesters of undergrad that the world seems to expect nothing short of perfection from us. We are reminded over and over that if we don’t get good grades, have the perfect resume, paired with an impressive internship, we won’t get into grad school. If we don’t go into grad school, we’ll never be qualified enough to get the job we want. At this point in our academic careers, I think I can speak on behalf of all of us twentysomethings in saying that failure is one of our deepest and most reoccurring fears. It’s one of those worrisome thoughts that no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to bury it deep enough into the depths of our consciousness.
What happens if we play by the rules, do what we’re told, and we still don’t surmount to what we had aspired to? There’s so much pressure on us to be a generation that graduates, equipped with the proper knowledge and skills to eliminate hunger, cure cancer, and create world peace. Speaking as a member of this generation, it fees like we’re being set up for failure right out of the gates. If we can’t meet these expectations, we get labeled as letdowns, slackers, failures and disappointments.
I’m not saying all of this to set you into a panic about post grad life, but instead, to remind you and encourage you that some of history’s greatest success stories were derived from perpetual failure. As someone who practically wrote the book on perfectionism, I fully acknowledge how easy it is to allow yourself to be defined by grades, sports performances, level of involvement in activities, social standing, etc.
But my question is, when did failure become attached to such a negative stigma? I wholeheartedly disagree with this pattern of thought because I’ve learned some of my greatest lessons as a result of failure. Likewise, some of my greatest accomplishments were made possible by previous failures.
I think the key is not to focus on the momentary disappointment and defeat, but to recognize the potential that each failure brings. Maya Angelou said, ““You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”
If I hadn’t failed test after test in AP chemistry, I wouldn’t have reconsidered going premed, and I wouldn’t be head-over-heels in love with my current field of study. If I hadn’t failed to notice the initial depressive symptoms, I wouldn’t have witnessed a friend’s suicide attempt and discovered my interest in psychology and counseling. If I hadn’t learned from the countless embarrassing, costly mistakes I’ve made on the soccer field throughout the years, I wouldn’t be heading into my fourth year of collegiate soccer. If I hadn’t failed miserably in my past relationships, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
Unfortunately, failing at anything will result in frustration and letdown. On top of that, it always has an uncanny way of slapping us in the face with a dose of humility. But the pain is temporary. We need to stop dwelling on the secular negativity that we attach to failure and do a better job of appreciating what it holds for our future. If we never failed at anything, we would never discover what is we are meant to do or be.
As hard as it is to break the cycle of belittlement and degradation in the wake of looming failure-especially in this pivotal season of life-we have to remember that it isn’t a dead end, but rather a temporary detour. Failure is inevitable. No one has ever done anything significant without excessive failure preceding success. It’s how we respond to our failures that have the potential to break the limitations that have been set for us and shape us into who we want to become. As Winston Churchill put it, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
