Everything will be okay.

That's what I keep telling myself, but the more I think about what happened, the less I believe it.

I waited in the waiting room for hours before I got to see him and I watched as people entered to see their loved ones and walked out bawling.

I told myself that wasn't going to be me.

I was going to be strong and I was going to smile and I was going to handle whatever came at me. That's not what happened.

After three hours of waiting in that room, I was finally aloud to see him. He was in room 323 which meant take the elevator up for three floors, then make two rights and go straight for three doors. Or that's what I was told.

All I remember is walking through that completely white building where all the halls were identical and everything smelled like bleach. I remember standing outside his door, already holding back the tears I told myself I wouldn't shed.

But I had to be strong and I had to smile, so I blinked back the tears that were begging to be released and opened that wide brown door to see him.

My dad has had cancer for three years now. The first year was really hard because none of us knew what to do and he was and alcoholic so it meant he had a little chance at comeback. But he came back. And six months later, so did the cancer. He's been getting chemotherapy for years and it's been working great or as great as helping someone with cancer can be.

But he hasn't been going. I couldn't force him to because I live in Georgia and he lives in Virginia and the only thing that he thinks about when I'm not there is where he can find his next bottle of beer.

But none of this mattered because everything was going to be okay.

Except it won't anymore because I walked into that cold, bland hospital room to see him coughing up his own blood.

And for the next twenty seven hours that I sat in that room, he would open up his mouth to talk only to cough up more blood. There were moments that I wished I would have just stayed in that waiting room because as I sat there watching him slowly slip away from me, I knew that everything was not going to be okay ever again.