Everything in Moderation

Everything in Moderation

I mean you can eat 10 hot dogs if you want, just not every day...right?
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I believe in this saying on all levels that it could possibly be applied to. I have never heard of this expression until entering recovery for an eating disorder, and I realized that it can be used in so much more than just recovery.

Let’s begin with recovery first, though. Moderation doesn't mean not having too much of something; it also means not having too little of something either. One huge issue I had when struggling with the darkest of my disorder was this moderation on both sides of the spectrum. I had no idea how to manage things moderately and either reached too extreme of one thing or too extreme of little.

I know I am not alone in this either. Being around college students every day, I have realized that I am not the only one who struggles with living a lifestyle in moderation. I have heard so many people say they aren't going to eat a meal because they know they are going to eat more later. One thing's first: how do you know how much you're going to eat at any given point? Yes, you may anticipate eating a little unhealthier or a little more than usual, but you never know if you are going to get full or how much your body will actually want to eat anyway. And this is where we get into the issue of under-eating.

So someone will eat under moderation in preparation for either drinking or eating over moderation, and this is not a healthy lifestyle. The first thing we can do is try and listen to our bodies and not let our negative opinions on the way we look influence how we treat our health. So many of us are unhappy with how we look that we allow this to act a certain way. We think we are “too” big and don't eat when we are starving or get ahead of ourselves and drink too much when we are out.

Our minds—especially the low self esteem part of them—oftentimes influence our decisions when we really need to start using mindfulness to combat these thoughts. We know deep down that skipping lunch to go out and eat a big dinner isn't healthy, and if we take a step back we will remind ourselves that. Honestly, skipping a meal will only make us overeat even MORE than we probably would have in the first please. If we learn how to eat when we are hungry, eat what we WANT to eat, and stop when we are full, then it will become a habit; we will no longer look to our insecurities of our bodies and the beauty standards around us to influence how we fuel ourselves.

I would waste an entire day sleeping (oversleeping) and then purposely not eating until late at night because I told myself I would be drinking too many calories and drunk eating that night, and I couldn't afford food during the day. First of all, going into the night with the mindset of “I'm going to eat and drink too much” sets the tone right there and makes you so much more likely to actually do it. Secondly, if I ate during the day I probably wouldn't have gotten as drunk, wouldn't have been as hungry at night, and wouldn't be as sluggish the entire day if I woke up at a normal hour.

Instead of telling ourselves these things, we can instead tell ourselves, “okay let me eat a healthy, filling breakfast, lunch, and dinner when I feel hungry and stop eating when I am not hungry anymore.” If we do this, we will go into the night already satisfied, knowing we ate “healthy” throughout the day, and not be starving to the point of bingeing that night. We can't deprive our bodies of something they need, and we can't over-serve it something that it doesn't need too much of.

This also relates to exercise in recovery and when suffering from an eating disorder. There comes a point in a workout where it is no longer useful if you are too tired to be productive. Forcing yourself to workout for two hours straight when there is not enough fuel put in your body to burn, you start burning energy and important muscle. When you don't workout at all, your heart health declines and you don't meet the daily amount of exercise that is said to keep our bodies healthy. We need to instead find the exercise we personally enjoy doing and do the workout for the amount of time that our bodies will feel good from.

Moderation goes so far beyond just food—it goes for anything in life. Too much of something can take the meaning out of it. When someone tells you they love you everyday, it becomes second nature and has little to no impact on our emotions. When someone never tells you they love you, you start to forget what love feels like. We need to learn how much of something we need for our own particular lives—which takes time—but when we do find it, our lives will feel in balance and so will our happiness.




Cover Image Credit: https://www.rebuildyourvision.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Everything-in-Moderation.jpg

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

From an outside perspective, suicidal thoughts are rarely looked into deeper than the surface level. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is that people live in between those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead.

You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Sorry Guys, Girls Actually Want Attention From Other Girls

Who else knows fashion, beauty, style, or looks better than other females themselves?

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Men are ya know, "great." We love 'em (somedays). Some girls cry over men, run their lives around men, and make life choices because of men.

But, why should we try to impress men? Men don't understand the time it takes to "beat our face" with makeup. Men don't understand the soreness our arms experienced to get these perfect curls. Some men don't understand how excited we are to score big in the Urban Outfitters clearance section.

Some ladies live by "beauty is pain." But sorry guys, they are not here to impress you.

Why would some ladies spend all the time, effort, and money for men, when some men can't distinguish mascara from lipgloss.

Women are trying to impress other women.

You ever get a compliment from a fellow female and they're like, "Girl, yes girl. The outfit, the hair, YES." Ladies understand and appreciate our efforts.

Do you think what ladies post on social media is to get men pouring in their DMs? No.

We are sharing pictures to inspire and create a group of women to be creative and stylish themselves. Us ladies are trying to build an empire of strong women, and we will not spend time just to look good for men.

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