I am the girl who tries to do everything.
I accepted a long time ago that I am not superwoman. After all, I can’t lift a train, and I cannot save a town of innocent bystanders from a businessman turned politician, and I am not invincible. I am; however, guilty of not knowing when to use the word “no.”
Helping others is something that I love doing, and when I’m doing it, I find that I’m happiest. This has led me to take on anything that others ask of me - even when I’m already stretched thin. Never has this been as much of an issue as it is in college, when personal preference doesn’t always align with what others want from me.
I have a habit of always saying yes. I have a habit of always wanting to jump to someone’s rescue. I have a habit of worrying constantly about how I can make others’ lives better, how I can be there for them even when I should probably take time to be there for myself. It's a part of who I am, and while it's a part that I absolutely love, it's occasionally a part of myself that leads to some problematic situations.
For every girl out there who feels like they have to be the everything girl, here’s some advice that I’ve been given. Two words: you don’t. Now, I know how hard it is to believe that. Actually, believing that you don’t have to be there for everyone all of the time is harder than actually trying to be there for everyone.
But it’s the truth.
Take a break from moving mountains to carve a place of safety and rest for yourself. By all means, continue to help people. Continue to love and be there for people in every way that you can but always remember to be there for yourself as well.
My best advice for how to treat yo’ self while still loving others comes in the form of a list.
- Make a list. A list of things that you love to do. If you don't love lists, just think to yourself about all of the things that make you happy.
- Do the things on that list. Dedicate a few hours each day to yourself. Just imagine helping yourself the way that you help everyone else.
- Pray. Pray for yourself. Pray for others. Pray for guidance and understanding because I promise that God supports you and all of the people who you feel like you have to support. He has them in his hands, so pray to him.
- Phone a friend. As much as you want to be there for others, there are others who want to be there for you.
- Write about it. Blog about it. Express your feelings, especially if you are the everything girl who locks stuff inside of you in order to help others more. Make sure that you have an outlet for you.
- Take a breath. I promise that even if all you do is breathe, you will be moving mountains for yourself.
Most importantly, remember that it’s great to be an everything girl. It’s an amazing thing to put others first and love with all of your heart. However, sometimes you have to take care of that heart so that you can use it to love fully.
