One of the most annoying things I’ve ever heard a person say is “I’m so OCD.” Are you, really? Because last time I checked, the term ‘OCD’ wasn’t an adjective. It’s not a word you can use to describe someone or something. It’s a very real and serious mental disorder with very real and serious signs and symptoms and people are disgustingly quick to dismiss it as much lesser.

And we find ourselves doing this all of the time: “I’m just ADD,” “this weather is so bipolar.” We even go as far as to glorify and even romanticize depression. How repulsive and ignorant of a society are we to employ mental illnesses and disorders as a means to explain things now?

You can’t ‘be’ OCD. You can certainly have it, but you cannot embody a whole entire disorder because you feel you show one of the various symptoms, when – in reality – you probably only do one thing that is a little out of the ordinary.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) – according to the National Institute of Mental Health – is “a common, chronic and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over.” They define these thoughts and behaviors as the following:

Obsessions are repeated thoughts, urges, or mental images that cause anxiety. Common symptoms include:

• Fear of germs or contamination
• Unwanted forbidden or taboo thoughts involving sex, religion, and harm
• Aggressive thoughts towards others or self
• Having things symmetrical or in a perfect order

Compulsions are repetitive behaviors that a person with OCD feels the urge to do in response to an obsessive thought. Common compulsions include:

• Excessive cleaning and/or handwashing
• Ordering and arranging things in a particular, precise way
• Repeatedly checking on things, such as repeatedly checking to see if the door is locked or that the oven is off
• Compulsive counting (NIMH).

Chances are, you probably don’t know what it’s like to have to wash or sanitize your hands over 20 times a day because you see germs everywhere. You don’t know what it’s like to have terrifying and disturbing images flood your mind 24/7. You don’t know what it’s like to have unwanted impulses domineering your every move. You don’t know what it’s like to have rude and intrusive thoughts attack you in the middle of your daily activities so much so that you can barely concentrate on getting anything done. You don’t know what it’s like to have this mental disorder that I wish didn’t exist dictating and interfering with how you live every moment of your life.

To this day, I don’t think a single person knows every single one of my obsessions and/or compulsions. In my lifetime, they have come and gone. Some have worsened, some have improved, and some have manifested out of thin air; but they never really go away altogether because they bring this unintelligible feeling of relief and somehow soothe the anxiety they are also responsible for causing. They ask of all your time and energy but yet are so charming and easily given in to you won’t even see it coming or notice yourself succumbing to them. They take hold of and deprive you of who you are. They are controlling, demanding, and relentless. Who wants to live with that?

The way in which there are multiples types and variations of symptoms of OCD is how it operates for most that suffer from it. Different people have different ways of experiencing it. Much like them, I am too ashamed to tell anyone of my ritualistic behaviors and routines because I acknowledge that they are senseless, excessive, and irrational. It’s not something I can put into words. I live my life in this constant fear of being judged and fear of getting the help I need. I don’t want to live like this. I want to live freely and without a care in the world. But this thing that I have – this thing that you feel you are ‘so’ much of without so much as a solid argument other than how you like your room to look – has made it impossible for me to do that. It has taken over my life.

I am trying my very hardest to work on it. I am attempting to overcome my symptoms. But when I hear people that think they’re sooo OCD, I feel as though I am being mocked. My heart does a little somersault. There are those words again. Why can’t it be perceived as a valid psychological fault that I have?

So you like being organized and keeping your things in a specific order, so what? The majority of us do. That doesn’t ‘make’ you OCD. That doesn’t even necessarily mean you have it. Do you dedicate up to an hour and sometimes even several a day on these thoughts and behaviors? Do you grow paranoid and feel as if something horrible will happen to you if you don’t purposely go out of your way to complete the tasks that your mind is forcing you to do?

If the answer is no, then don’t use my disorder to justify just one of your mannerisms. Don’t use my disorder to make yourself seem ‘cute’ or ‘quirky.’ What I have is neither one of those things and something I would never wish upon anybody. It is stressful. It is time-consuming. It is exhausting. It has taught me how dark the human mind can truly be as well as what I am capable of doing when I am alone.

So, no – you’re not OCD. You can’t be ADD/ADHD, either. You can’t be bipolar unless you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Double checking things, shortness of attention span, and mood swings are all behaviors that most people deal with. But there is a fine line between those and extremes. If you slightly exhibit one tendency out of the many, please don’t take that up as an opportunity to tell others that you ‘are’ OCD.

I am a firm believer in seeking the help that you need, and if you truly feel you are showing symptoms of any of these (or other) disorders – by all means – please go for it. But by utilizing mental disorders and illnesses to discuss or evaluate one thing it is that you do, you leave us feeling ridiculed, marginalized, and perhaps most importantly of all – invalidated.

The next time you’re about to say “I’m so OCD,” think about who you will be affecting, hurting, or triggering when those words come out of your mouth. I hear this on public transportation, in schools, everywhere. Not only does this lack of knowledge behind what OCD really is need to be eradicated from social norms, but so does its stigma. It is so much more than you just wanting your belongings to be arranged a certain way; it is a matter of unwelcome thoughts, feelings, and images ultimately exerting more power over you than you do. I don’t want to be ashamed, but I want everyone to know what it is so that they know better than to judge me for it or throw the term around loosely, because it is not a subject that should be taken lightly. Maybe then I can live in a world where mental health isn’t taught or learned about so poorly and can be prioritized by everyone regardless of the circumstances, for it is indubitably one of the most important aspects of our lives.