"Maybe we can go out this weekend?"
Thank you for the invitation, I'm flattered. I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but I must decline. I'm emotionally unavailable.
Often times, this phrase is thrown around casually. No pun intended.
But understand, being "emotionally unavailable" doesn't mean that I want a causal relationship.
After having my heart broken, I felt rejected. My confidence took a plunge. It was clear that I was unhappy and that I needed to change my ways.
So, I had this idea. Rather than jumping into another relationship, I could take a break from dating. I thought that this break would be good for me. And it was.
Before starting a relationship, self-love is crucial. I needed to learn how to love myself again.
Being emotionally unavailable allows me the chance to focus on myself and reflect.
During the time that I've "emotionally unavailable," I rediscovered myself.
I'm not damaged goods, I'm not broken. I have felt empowered. This is a choice that I made on my own.
Before my heart was broken, I knew that I was ready for a long-term relationship. At 23, I have reached the age where I only pursue guys who I can see myself having a future with.
Previously, I thought that I had met the right person and I was wrong. I can finally say that I have moved on and I am OK.
Of course, the "journey to rediscovery" was tough. Some days, I was productive. Other days, I was sitting on the couch, eating ice cream, and watching romantic chick-flicks.
One day, it finally hit me. I'm in no rush to find the "perfect" man. It is OK to be single.
To quote the film How to be Single, "We are living longer, marrying later and refusing to leave the party before we're really really done. So why do we always tell our stories through relationships?"
The moral of the story is: dating someone can be a part of my life, but it did not have to be my whole life.
There is no ideal time to settle down and start a family. Meeting the "perfect" person just happens. You cannot rush perfection.
A few years ago, there was a guy back home who was known for being "emotionally unavailable." He only wanted casual relationships. Even he had a happy ending. That makes me hopeful.
Being "emotionally unavailable" is only temporary.
I know that one day, I'll feel butterflies in my tummy again. When the right person does come around, I'll make myself available.
But until I am ready to start dating again, I'm happy with my own company.