They say friendships develop over common interests, but they also develop out of common endeavors and mentalities. Emily and I have had a lot of engaging and thoughtful conversations recently, and we thought we would take to our writing to share our perspectives with you all. We have realized many of the issues related to dating in our senior year of college, and we wanted to clearly define the emotional limbo that many of us experience. Both seniors graduating this May, we have found ourselves caught between the idea of lifestyle independence and emotional dependence. We feel like we are not alone in these thoughts so we wanted to start the conversation among our fellow seniors.

Senior year is a time of preparing for the inevitable transition we are about to endure, while still trying to maintain the stable college life we have become so accustomed to. We are applying for jobs and grad schools while trying to figure out where we will be living after we graduate. It is a year full of what ifs and new experiences. With all these thoughts of change and new beginnings looming over our heads, how does one go about dating and having relationships in their senior year with minimal stress?

So many times in social media and pop culture, we see college seniors going out and perpetuating the typical hook-up culture. It makes many people feel pressured to go out on a random night and end the night with a random person. College seniors who do not go and participate in this hook-up culture are viewed as not living their senior year to the fullest. What this perception lacks, other than emotional satisfaction, is a true understanding of how college senior dating culture operates.

Humans naturally desire some consistency and stability in their lives. Having a person you know will be there for you and whom you can talk to about anything helps ground many individuals. Unfortunately, dating during the senior year of college can be one of the most inconsistent, confusing social behaviors. Single individuals go back and forth between wanting someone to always be there for them and also wanting to go out and meet new people with no strings attached.

What about the people who feel stuck in between wanting to have someone but also wanting to be independent? To be honest, it is a constant struggle within ourselves. Even if you go on multiple dates with someone and really connect with them, you two will most likely be separated once May comes around. The individuals with limitless aspirations generally will not want to be held back by someone they met in their senior year of college.

So what do we do when we garner that interest in someone, but, for whatever personal reason, decide that it isn’t something that can we can feasibly sustain after college? If you are someone who over-thinks things like we do, you almost instantly resort to repressing those feelings for that person. Although natural, this is a cyclical disaster for our emotional stability. Repressed emotions sometimes lead to an undue amount of stress and anxiety. When we try to push the emotions we have for someone, or something, away, they always seem to come back around stronger. This, of course, isn’t a healthy cycle to be a part of, and we end up spending more time worrying about our feelings rather than enjoying them. Additionally, emotions are only half the battle, as there are many other variables when trying to balance our interest in someone.

The age of the person you decide to pursue also plays a factor in this endless mental game. We spend so much time and energy trying to figure out if there could ever be a future with this person. Is it even worth getting involved with someone a year or two younger or older than you if you are just going to leave them? It is not fair to allow them the potential to fall for you if you are planning to leave them in their place and move on. On the other hand, it is just as difficult to get involved with another graduating senior. This is especially true if both parties are the type of person to not follow the other. This feeling is similar to the suspense of waiting for someone to pinch you. The anticipation of graduation and having to separate (the pinch) can make enjoying the moment more difficult than it needs to be. You are trying to connect with that person, but you know the time is ticking, and you can’t help but question if the emotional roller coaster ride is worth it.

There are so many factors that often cause a mental battle in the minds of single seniors. It can be great to spend your last year in school focusing on yourself and all that you wish to accomplish. At the same time, it can be very valuable to go on dates, meet as many people as you can and develop friendships (maybe even more) that could potentially last after you leave school.

Senior year is undoubtedly a time for selfish self-improvement. It is entirely appropriate to focus on you and only you. It is a journey through your self-identity in which you hopefully come out with a better perspective on where you have been, where you are and where you want to go. Emotionally involving yourself with someone can cloud that outlook and take your attention away from what you had set out to do. However, going on a dates and getting involved with someone can satisfy the soul and give us a break from our day-to-day grind by forcing us to relax and let our stressors out to someone who cares to listen.

So the question begs — is there a solution to all of this?

When push comes to shove, it is your life, and you can choose how you wish to spend your time. If you are anything like us, and you are constantly seeking to have new experiences with new people outside of your comfort zone, then maybe it is worth it for you to have some fun and go on dates. You never know, you could meet someone in your last semester who could become a great friend or maybe you will meet them again in a few years and rekindle a connection. Something we really value about life is that it is a learning experience. With that being said, you can only learn more about yourself and others by getting involved with someone. If the relationship goes horribly, amazingly and everything in between, you have learned. We are well acquainted with the complication and stress of doing this, but what useful learning experience has ever really been easy? Staying true to yourself and broadening your experience will keep you sane during your last year of college.