There is no doubt that getting your heart broken is tough. Each heartbreak is difficult in its own way and presents a unique set of challenges. Whether you were cheated on, the distance became too much to handle, or you just grew apart and fell out love, ending a relationship and beginning the process of moving on is never fun. Even the easiest of breakups are accompanied by pain - but we don't have to allow the pain to destroy us. After going through my own share of heartbreak and disappointment, I can stand on the other side of it and say I am so grateful for what I went through because it has shaped me into who I am today.
There was a time when I was head-over-heels in love. Others looked at my relationship and thought that I was living in a fairy tale. For a while, it truly felt like I was. In time, however, I realized that the relationship that I had been in for nearly a year and a half was not right at all. It was toxic, deceitful and overall unhealthy. After months of dysfunction, I found myself depressed, anxious and miserable. It affected my physical and mental health, as well as my relationships with my friends and my family. I dreaded the thought of being alone so much that I chose to stay in a bad relationship, and how crazy is that?
When the relationship finally ended, I was shocked by how relieved I felt. The peace was almost instantaneous. For the first time in a year and a half, I was completely free. Was I heartbroken? Of course I was - but I wasn't as heartbroken as I had been months before when I was in a toxic relationship, just putting on a face and covering up everything that was really going on under the surface. I no longer had to worry about being lied to and betrayed. I was still so disappointed that it didn't work out the way I had always imagined it would, but I chose to embrace the pain and see the good in it all.
One of the most positive aspects of going through heartbreak was rediscovering how valuable my friendships were. Though I didn't want to admit it at the time, I knew that I had forgotten about many of my friends while I was in a relationship. I was able to reconnect with my friends, and give them the time that I should have been giving them all along. Most of all, my heartbreak led me to the girl who has grown to become my best friend. She was there for me in my darkest moments, she was there to help me deal with things that I couldn't face alone, and she was always there to remind me of my worth. It's because of that horrible breakup that I now have the most amazing friend in my life - someone who understands, cares, and loves unconditionally in a way that no boyfriend has before.
Embracing my heartbreak also meant embracing myself - the good, the bad, the ugly - the things I wanted to bury deep down inside and never acknowledge again. It made me face reality and deal with the things I had kept hidden for so long. It led to healing emotionally, mentally and physically. It led me to have a restored sense of self-worth and truly realize what it meant to respect myself. I no longer placed my worth in who I was dating, but rather in who I knew I was created to be.
Perhaps one of the greatest ways you can embrace your heartbreak is by having hope for the future. Rather than being sad that I was single, I celebrated my freedom knowing that some day I would find the right person. That day might not come for another six months or another five years - but I know I am one giant step closer to being with the right person because I let go of that relationship and allowed myself to experience heartbreak. I went from the 19-year-old girl who had planned her whole life around a guy to the 21-year-old young woman who picked up the pieces and took charge of her goals and her desires. The future that once seemed to be falling apart as a result of a broken relationship turned into a future full of promise and hope.
If you're going through heartbreak, just know that it will pass. Don't run from it. Don't hide from it. Don't try to cover it up with fake happiness, cheap dates and whatever else you may use to try and mask the pain. Cry about it if you have to, confide in someone else, say all of the things you never had the courage to say - but don't avoid the inevitable. Embracing our heartbreak is the best way to heal, become stronger, and learn from our past - and some day you just might look back and be grateful for it all.
