At some point in our college lives, we have all witnessed someone running when they are drunk. Whether that is an actual five-meter sprint from the bar to their apartment, the Lyft car or sadly a trash can. However, when I designate someone as a “drunk runner,” I am talking about those who play tag with their friends and are constantly on the move.
I will admit that I am a “drunk runner” and I do not know why or how to stop it from happening. I am definitely that girl out of all of my friends that has to constantly be carefully watched at the party or bar. They have to tell me to stay or do not leave with out telling us. And usually, I am pretty good at communicating before I leave. However, there have been those nights when they turn their backs on me and turn back around ten minutes later, only to realize I am no longer on the dance floor.
But I would rather be a “drunk runner” than a “crying McGee” or a “munching hog.” Being a runner is not all that bad when you are the one running. For example, you are burning off all those vodka shots every ten minutes you spend jogging to the next stop on your agenda. So before you try to constrain your friend into a child backpack leash, like my friends are thinking of doing for my upcoming birthday, just accept that we are quick on our feet even if the “lights are on but no one is home.” We will give you a look that secretly tells you, “catch me if you can in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 … bye.”
We are the ones that can go a whole night with a smile on our face, no matter where we are, who we are with and what we are doing. Runners are smart; we surprisingly know how to drop a pin when we cannot see straight.
We are the type to have fun no matter where we are. If we are on the dance floor alone there is no awkward look on our face. Every night's goal for us is to have fun and if that means having fun alone then so be it. However, although we might be running from you, we want to be partying with you. So do yourself a favor and just become a runner for the night. You will see how much fun it is.
But no matter how much we run from you, we are forever thankful for our best friends who must spend their nights chasing us. If you have your five-inch heels on, I would suggest a leash. If you are wearing your Nikes then you are gold medalist. And luckily, some genius has forever changed the life of a “drunk runner” best friend with the app called “Find My Friends” for Apple and Android. Go download now before you are running a marathon.
Whatever you do, do not make us feel like we are on a leash, invisible or real … we will resist you.
Sincerely,
The Drunk Runner
