Exactly two years ago, my life, as well as the other lives in my car, could have ended. One single wrong turn and a night of tragedy could have been much worse.
I am still ashamed of my past—however, the pain has gotten easier.
I still think about September 19th, 2014 almost every day.
I still think about the people in my car, almost every day.
I still think about the scratches, stitches, and broken arms that ended up in the hospital that night—because of my bad decision.
I made a mistake. One I can never take back. I remember tweeting “Lol fuck” right as I was pulled out of my Honda Civic by a police officer, alone and confused.
I thought it was a joke. Pathetic, right?
My life had flashed before my eyes and I didn’t care one bit.
I used to feel bad for myself. “Why me??” I would ask myself.
"Why did I decide to drive that night?"
Fuck that, though; if anybody deserved to be hurt, it’s me.
If anybody deserved a license taken away for good, it’s me.
If anybody deserved to lose friends, it’s me.
If anybody deserved to owe thousands of dollars to a DUI lawyer, it’s me.
If anybody deserved a totaled car, it's me.
My car had been posted on a local website only days after the accident by a concerned mom, for everyone and anyone to see. I was furious, but I knew there was nothing I could do.
In reality, I should have gotten a harsher punishment. I should have paid more for the horrible decision I made, and the fact that I didn't...I guess, I am grateful. I still think about the people who drink and drive and get up to 6 months in prison, sometimes longer depending on circumstances. I am lucky and I appreciate that.
I still think about my friends in my car, and I'm sorry. I don't think I ever properly apologized to you few. A real real apology. The hospital bills, trauma, and parent discipline was probably something you could have avoided if you didn't get in my car that night-- and for that, I am sorry.
With that, I would like to say one thing--
Don't drink and drive.
Somebody loves you, drive with care.
