As rush season rolls over university campuses yet again, many students may be forced to face the pressure to drink. Of course, the decision to drink or not to drink is a personal one. For those who choose not to consume alcohol, here is a short list of excuses and tricks to avoid alcohol.
How to avoid the pressures of drinking:
1. BYO(w)B.
Bring your own water bottle and carry it with you throughout the night. While this may seem like a stupid trick that is doomed to fail, I carried around a water bottle at parties for the first month of school and not once did someone pressure me to drink. This works because peers come to one of two conclusions: you don’t want to drink or your water bottle is filled with vodka. Either way, you depart from parties with your dignity and great skin, (although you’ll still have the pressing urge to pee that comes with drinking.)
2. Carry around a cup.
This is the easiest way to get people off of your back. Simply carry around an empty big red/clear cup. Nobody can tell if you are carrying something filled with water, booze, or apple juice, and as long as you’re not being a jerk or calling attention to yourself, NOBODY CARES. This method also requires no prior prep, making it perfect for the lazy, forgetful, or suddenly-sober individual.
3. Blame it on the doc.
Tell anyone who walks up to you that your doctor told you not to mix your medication with alcohol. Enough said. This is also a great repellent for anyone who are giving you the creeps because, as we all know, nothing will send prospective hookup running faster than telling him that your crabs meds don’t mix well with whatever he’s drinking.
4. Be straight about your alcohol aversion.
If you aren’t a drinker, tell the person offering you a drink that you would rather not. If they don’t respect your decision, then they probably aren’t the right person to drink with anyway.
5. “I have mono.”
Anyone who has ever had mononucleosis or knows someone who has had mono knows that one of the first things the doctors tell you is alcohol is off limits while you are trying to recover. This excuse, like the medication excuse, works on a number of levels because if someone was trying to get you drunk, they no longer want your mono-spreading saliva in their mouth. The excuse is also one that is plausible, as many college students get mono.
6. "I have an exam/test/8 a.m."
This answer is sure to get you both a high level of sympathy and a lower level of pressure to drink because nobody wants to screw with your GPA in college.
7.“I just brushed my teeth.”
My personal favorite. The number of times I have used this excuse is ridiculously high. This explanation for not drinking works for two reasons: 1. It makes sense that mint toothpaste and any alcohol wouldn’t taste good together. 2. The explanation is so unusual that nobody knows what to say. It doesn’t matter if you have just brushed your teeth or not. You will brush them after the party, but no one else needs to know your intentions.
Whether you follow one of these suggestions or an idea of your own, be firm. A quick, unequivocal “Thanks, but no thanks” no matter how you say it is the easiest way to forego drinking. So while the choice to drink is yours, remember that drinking responsibly is the difference between a great night and a traumatic one. Most people will respect you for knowing what you want --and don’t want-- to do and then sticking with it.
Cheers!
