I Have Drifted From My High School Friends Since Graduation, But That's Life

I Have Drifted From My High School Friends Since Graduation, But That's Life

Drifting from old friends is a hard pill to swallow, but it's a part of life and we have to accept it.

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Since going to college, I knew I wasn't going to be as connected with all my friends from high school. I knew I would only talk to my two absolute best friends on a semi-regular basis. In my head, I was ready for this transition and ready to move on and make new friends.

Furthermore, during our senior year, everyone in my graduating class knew this was going to happen and tried to cherish the moments we had left. At the same time, we were all excited about graduating, going to college, and starting our futures. This is normal for teenagers our age and I knew that so I just went with the flow of the last couple months of high school.

I don't think it really hit me what moving on from high school truly meant until recently, on my birthday. I have a party on New Year's Eve, my birthday, every year. I have since I was a kid. Last year, up to 15 friends from school came over to celebrate with me. That was the biggest turn out of friends I had ever had. This year, four friends came.

I invited a lot of my high school friends this year, thinking it could be a good time to catch up with everyone but, inevitably, I got a limited amount of responses. It was upsetting. I felt like no one cared enough to come anymore and that my party was going to be lame. I felt like I was forgotten and everyone was moving on with their lives and leaving me behind.

It briefly bothered me and I was all prepared to have a shitty birthday. But that's not what happened.

I had a great time with my family, my boyfriend, and my best friends; the people who are here for the long haul. This wasn't the party I had last year, that everyone came to because we knew it would be the last time we would come together like that. This party, probably the last party I'll have like this, was special. I felt truly loved. Everyone who made the effort to come was there for me.

My birthday this year taught me an important lesson. It taught me that our lives are always changing and evolving and what they look like a year ago isn't necessarily what it will look like today. A huge part of that has to do with the people around you.

Going from high school to college has catapulted me from a comfortable little cocoon to a whole big, new world. An important thing to remember is that all my peers are also going through the same thing. We're all growing up and learning how to function in college and in real life. So obviously it's going to be more difficult to keep in touch with everyone you used to see every day in high school.

I shouldn't feel left behind because I am moving along and growing, too. We are just on different paths. Change like this is a part of life, especially at this young age. I should invite change into my life and not purposely hold myself back by occupying myself with what I perceive my former peers think of me.

If you're feeling alone in college and haven't quite found your place just yet, just know everyone at this age is going through the same thing. Keep in touch with the people close to you but don't go reaching into your past for validation. Life goes on and we must move with it and not try to hold onto what used to be.

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The Coach That Killed My Passion

An open letter to the coach that made me hate a sport I once loved.
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I fell in love with the game in second grade. I lived for every practice and every game. I lived for the countless hours in the gym or my driveway perfecting every shot, every pass and every move I could think of. Every night after dinner, I would go shoot and would not allow myself to go inside until I hit a hundred shots. I had a desire to play, to get better and to be the best basketball player I could possibly be.

I had many coaches between church leagues, rec leagues, personal coaches, basketball camps, middle school and high school. Most of the coaches I had the opportunity to play for had a passion for the game like I did. They inspired me to never stop working. They would tell me I had a natural ability. I took pride in knowing that I worked hard and I took pride in the compliments that I got from my coaches and other parents. I always looked forward to the drills and, believe it or not, I even looked forward to the running. These coaches had a desire to teach, and I had a desire to learn through every good and bad thing that happened during many seasons. Thank you to the coaches that coached and supported me through the years.

SEE ALSO: My Regrets From My Time As A College Softball Player

Along with the good coaches, are a few bad coaches. These are the coaches that focused on favorites instead of the good of the entire team. I had coaches that no matter how hard I worked, it would never be good enough for them. I had coaches that would take insults too far on the court and in the classroom.

I had coaches that killed my passion and love for the game of basketball.

When a passion dies, it is quite possibly the most heartbreaking thing ever. A desire you once had to play every second of the day is gone; it turns into dreading every practice and game. It turns into leaving every game with earphones in so other parents don't talk to you about it. It meant dreading school the next day due to everyone talking about the previous game. My passion was destroyed when a coach looked at me in the eyes and said, "You could go to any other school and start varsity, but you just can't play for me."

SEE ALSO: Should College Athletes Be Limited To One Sport?

Looking back now at the amount of tears shed after practices and games, I just want to say to this coach: Making me feel bad about myself doesn't make me want to play and work hard for you, whether in the classroom or on the court. Telling me that, "Hard work always pays off" and not keeping that word doesn't make me want to work hard either. I spent every minute of the day focusing on making sure you didn't see the pain that I felt, and all of my energy was put towards that fake smile when I said I was OK with how you treated me. There are not words for the feeling I got when parents of teammates asked why I didn't play more or why I got pulled after one mistake; I simply didn't have an answer. The way you made me feel about myself and my ability to play ball made me hate myself; not only did you make me doubt my ability to play, you turned my teammates against me to where they didn't trust my abilities. I would not wish the pain you caused me on my greatest enemy. I pray that one day, eventually, when all of your players quit coming back that you realize that it isn't all about winning records. It’s about the players. You can have winning records without a good coach if you have a good team, but you won’t have a team if you can't treat players with the respect they deserve.

SEE ALSO: To The Little Girl Picking Up A Basketball For The First Time


Cover Image Credit: Equality Charter School

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Some Of You Never Lived In A Dorm And It Really Shows

Dorms are weird and so is college, but some of you might not know.

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Such an exciting time, the beginning of the school year when thousands of bright eyed and bushy tailed college freshmen pack up their things, arrive on campus and try to make a glorified cracker box into their new home. If you asked ten different college students about their experience living in the dorms I'm sure you would get ten very different and very interesting answers.

For those of you that never had the pleasure (or not) of living in a dorm, here are just a few of the curiosities it provides.

1. Living With An Absolute Stranger

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I don't know who thought up this practice that is otherwise thought of as dangerous, but I'd like to talk to them. Thankfully my situation didn't turn out too bad. Only one of our roommates was a little sketchy, but only because she was never home and didn't talk, then moved out at semester. Nothing like my friend's roommate who puked in his own bed then left it there for over a month... clearly, that kid was ready for adulthood.

2. The Bathroom Situation

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Most dorms have communal bathrooms and that right there calls for an endless array of gross and awkward situations. Shower flip flops can't even save you from those unidentified objects stuck in the drain and you don't know what's been in that toilet today. Figuring out the delicate choreography of getting in the shower without being seen naked and dodging all the cute boys in the hallway while you run to your room in your robe with your hair in a towel.

3. Interesting People On Your Floor

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You are living in a building for a year with hundreds of people. Eventually one of these individuals will no longer be able to contain their freakish ways and habits to the inside of their room. I'm talking about the kids who run through the lobby in their onesies, water guns in hand, having an argument over their favorite anime characters. Also the guy I met at 11 a.m. on a Wednesday in the elevator who was in only his boxers searching every floor for his clothes, wallet, keys, and dignity.

4. Figuring Out Adult Things Together

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Usually, when I break something and need to fix it I go to my parents, but in the dorms, I only had three roommates who probably did the same so we had to get pretty creative. Is that expiration date real or just a suggestion? Probably whichever roommate loses noes-goes has to man up and test it. Thankfully we have the internet now so problems like that time we accidentally got expo-marker stuck on the AC panel were able to be fixed with just the click of a button.

5. The Unpredictable RAs

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It's pretty much a game of roulette with what kind of RA you'll end up with. Will it be the cool guy who opens the first meeting of the year with the sentence "Listen, guys, I'm not a regular RA, I'm a cool RA. Do what you want, just don't get caught ok?" or will it be the RA that suddenly thinks this is their chance to become the Cop from their childhood dreams. "DID I JUST HEAR LAUGHTER? SIMMER DOWN IN THERE OR I WILL WRITE YOU UP." Unfortunately, I had the latter.

6. The Forever Bond You Share With Anyone Who Ever Lived In Your Dorm

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Any time I am out and mention that I lived in Lewis Hall someone comes running over screaming "LEW CREWWWW" and gives me a high five. Then for the rest of my years on campus proceed to do so every time they see me out. We all went through the same thing inside those walls, we all know the politics, and we just get each other on a level no one else can. I don't make the rules, it's just how it is.

So long story short if you have the opportunity to live in the dorms, definitely do. This list may sound like a list of reasons to scare you off, but I assure you it is the same list that most dorm veterans also get sentimental about. Dorm life is your right of passage as a freshman and you should definitely take it.

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