Okay, I know what you may be thinking. You're 19 years old, how can you possibly know you want to be a surrogate? That's such a big commitment.

Yes, it is. But it's something I really want to do, and I've been solid on that for years.

In high school, probably about junior or senior year, especially when I was dating my first real boyfriend, the topic had come up.

All my friends would talk about how they wanted kids when they were older and whatnot and I couldn't help but disagree with them.

I don't know that I'd want to be responsible for raising someone and raising them off my views, especially with the way society is now. And who knows, maybe this'll change later down the line, but I'm in no rush to figure it out.

The one thing I do want to experience is pregnancy. I don't know why exactly, but I only seem to want the more painful parts of having a child. Pregnancy just sounds fun to me (when the time is right, of course).

This leads me to how I made the decision for myself. I want pregnancy but no baby, and other women want babies but can't get pregnant, so surrogacy is the perfect solution for both parties.

For those of you who don't know what surrogacy is, Circle Surrogacy explains it as "a method of assisted reproduction that helps intended parents start families when they otherwise could not." Basically, I would have other people's kids.

The other night, I had a dream where I was 20 weeks pregnant and when I woke up on my stomach I freaked out because I thought I had killed the baby I didn't even have. Pondering the dream moments later, I realized I wasn't mad about it and was almost sad it wasn't real.

I am in no place to have a baby now, please don't misunderstand or misinterpret. My dream just made me look forward to the future. I think about surrogacy probably more than I should.

Whenever I tell people that I want to do this when I'm older, they give me this crazy look. Some guys at college that I have told were almost disgusted when I told them.

I get comments saying how crazy I am, questions asking if I like pain, wide-eyed and questioning looks. I don't care if people think I'm crazy, I already know that I am.

Another comment I get a lot refers to becoming attached to the baby once I deliver it. I realize this is a real thing, but I'm not very worried that it'll happen to me because *unpopular opinion* I don't really like babies all that much. Again, this could change at any point.

I really like helping people. It's something I've always done and I want to continue helping people throughout my life, no matter if it means donating my hair, donating my blood, opting to be an organ donor, or even carrying and delivering someone else's child(ren).

If my body allows me to do this, I absolutely will.