March 19th, I came home to four white cardboard envelopes from my Community College on the kitchen table. I opened the envelopes to find my diplomas for the four Associate degrees I earned last spring. Had I been a little more focused on school I would have made the deadline to petition for a May Graduation, but I wasn’t. Having them dated for December will have to do. I briefly thought how funny it was that they showed up now since my bachelor’s degree is going to be dated April 1st.

I guess the real joke was the email I received, “Congratulations! It looks like you have applied for a fall 2017 or spring/summer 2018 degree. Now it's time to celebrate in this year’s commencement ceremony”. Should I choose to attend, my graduation ceremony is set for May 18th. Just a bit of irony for me, my university graduation is set for May 12th. Since I chose to do an online program for my bachelor’s degree, I ended up at an out of state college. So, one ceremony will be in my home state of California and one in New Hampshire.

I could make my senior trip be to attend my graduation. This would involve planning airfare, finding a hotel near the campus, and a rental car. But I would be alone. My family and friends would be unable to attend. It’s my graduation, but that seems like a hollow celebration to me. On the other hand, I could go to my local graduation, but this seems anti-climatic since I will have already graduated with my bachelor’s degree six days before.

People are telling me that I will regret not going, I’ve worked so hard for it, I’ve earned it. Almost all of this is true. I didn’t go to my graduation three years ago for my first associate's degree from yet a third college, and I have been completely happy with this decision. I told everyone, I don’t want to take the time or spend the money on a cap and gown.

In reality, the thought of walking across the stage was terrifying. There was just nothing that I thought I would gain from the experience which I wanted more than the fear that was gripping me.

I could go to my local graduation, not have to worry about hotels, airfare, rental cars, or finding the best places to eat. I could be a part of something that represents the culmination of all my efforts, sacrifices, and dedication. I can even get those pieces of paper framed, maybe in a shadow box with the cap, and honor society tassel to go along with the “With Honors” written on the documents.

But, in the end, I’d rather walk away from my experience minus the fear. I want to leave this leg of my college journey on a high note. Maybe I will walk for my master’s degree. That’s the one I’m getting all for me. The other degrees have been because society said I should.

For all the juniors looking at your senior year, racing to the finish line, it will be here before you know it. Make your plans now, before the craziness sets in. Remember to petition for graduation before the deadline. Remember to save up the money for your petition, cap, and gown.

If you are like me and are getting your degree online, start scoping out the best spots to visit near your college, and pay attention to the online hotel reviews, or maybe, take a chance on an Airbnb or other Vacation Rental service so you can make it a family affair. Build that connection to your college and solidify your school pride.

I’m gonna keep going, so this isn’t my finish line. I may cross the next one, smiling in a cap and gown. I think my kids would love the opportunity to cheer me on for that.