Have you ever felt alone in a crowd?
Have you ever just felt isolated and in your own little world?
I have.It's kind of like being an astronaut stuck on my own little space station in the middle space- the final frontier.
This is probably one of the worst feelings to have in college. There's so much going on and it's the stage of your life where it's totally okay to have nothing figured out. AND THERE'S SO MANY PEOPLE TO BEFRIEND (who are also struggling through this stage too). So, logically, you shouldn't feel so isolated, right?
Below is an episode of the Mockumentary "Dorm Life."
(Whoa, 360 on that topic, right? WRONG.)
I want you to start at 9:54. (I mean, if you want to watch the whole episode, awesome, do it. "Dorm Life" is one of my favorite things, but you really just need to see the clip at 9:54)
In the first season (which was set in the fall semester), the character Mike had an awesome start to freshman year of college. In the second season (which was set in the spring semester), he has a much harder time.
Dorm Life is probably my favorite college-related thing because it's so relatable. Though, out of the entire series, I have always identified with this scene with Mike the most. I've always had a sense of exclusion, I've always "been down on myself," as Mike says, and I always start with the hope of a new semester. But it's hard to open up to someone, to let someone know how you are actually feeling behind the façade.
Not everyone is going to notice how you're feeling. Even the best of friends sometimes miss the memo. Sometimes it'll feel like you're there for everyone else, but no one's there for you. And that's not true. Another character, Danny B, says, "We're obviously going to be there if you need us. You're one of our best friends." Sometimes it might not be obvious to you that your friends would be there for you. Sometimes it might not be obvious which friends will be there for you. Not everyone is going to know how isolated you feel if you don't speak up.
Then Marshall comes in and Mike asks if he'd like a hug, it's very apparent how broken Marshall is when he says "No," hesitates, and goes in for the hug before trotting off and ultimately crying while hiding it by singing "Sunglasses at Night." This is why I always hug people. Because it makes me feel better about myself, it makes me feel more connected, and it may help the other half. Because, really, we don't always know what's going on in people's lives. Once I was told I give really good hugs. It's because it's how I connect and de-isolate myself (and HOBY, giving out lots of HOBY Hugs during seminar...).
As well as you may know someone, you may not know everything or their everyday struggles.
It's okay to be alone sometimes. But not everyone is focused in on your life and struggles, and sometimes, if things are really difficult, you just need to let someone know. I know that that can be hard, but it's the first step out of isolation. And they become more than willing to be there for you.