I'm going to say something that I've gotten a lot of crap for saying before: I don't want to have any kids.
Why is it that women are ALWAYS expected to have a kid at some point in their life? Whenever we say "I don't want children" we almost always get shot down and told "Oh, you'll change your mind. You'll have lots of kids one day and you'll love them all". Ever since I was a little kid, I felt that I would never want children of my own. My mind still has not changed, and if I eventually do want kids, then great, but I honestly don't believe that I'll ever want to get pregnant.
Having kids and starting your own family is awesome if you want to do that. However, I have absolutely no motherly instincts, no idea how to take care of a child, and I have no desire to go through carrying a baby for nine months or give birth. Even just the thought of getting pregnant terrifies me, and I have actual nightmares about it.
I am one of the many women that is constantly told that they'll change their mind, although I've made up my mind, at least for a pretty long time. I've been told that I'm selfish, and that I'd better date a guy that feels the same way as me about children, because if I don't then I'll be expected to have their baby. Sometimes I'm asked what I would do if I got pregnant by accident. I don't know, but if it were to happen any time soon, I may consider (note: I'm not saying I definitely would) having an abortion (even though some people may hate me for saying that, it's true). Of course, I wouldn't want it to come to that, so I'm going to do everything I possibly can to avoid that situation. Maybe, eventually, I'll adopt an older child or even change my mind about having my own, but for now, I want to focus on myself, and I'm extremely grateful for birth control.
How do some people get it in their head that it's selfish for someone to not have a baby if they don't want to or aren't ready? Is it not more selfish to give birth to a baby, only to give them up for adoption or be a poor parent to them, making that kid be miserable in the long run? That's just setting that kid up for failure and misery. I'd rather be "selfish" for being childless than become a bad parent, thank you.
I am so sick and tired of people who berate women that don't want to have children. There are tons of reasons for us to not have any desire to, and that shouldn't be an issue. If I care more about my education, job, future, and mental health than I care for having kids, that's my business. It's my life and my body, and I'm the one who is in charge of what happens with it, not some overzealous Catholic/Christian guy who thinks that women are only useful for making babies.
To all the women like me, who don't want kids of their own, you're not selfish for it. Don't let anyone force their beliefs on you, and don't let anyone convince you to have any babies before you're ready, because that's up to you, not anyone else. You're not some bad, evil person for wanting to focus on your education or career instead of having children.
