Two months ago, I traveled a couple thousand miles across the United States to one of the most diverse cities in the world, Los Angeles. Behind, I left my sheltered, suburban world in southwest Ohio.

I had been invited to join a family that I regularly babysit for on a month long mission’s trip with the ministry, Athletes in Action. The goal of the mission’s trip was to gather college athletes across the country, teach them the principles of following God, promote racial discrimination awareness and reconciliation, and serve alongside non-profit organizations already established in Los Angeles.

However, my invitation to join this family meant I would babysit their three children while the husband and wife poured their energy into the project. My expectations looked a little like this: explore the beautiful city of L.A. with my favorite kids, visit the Pacific Ocean for the first time, and hike some of the California mountains. Of course I said I would go!

Unfortunately around the same time I started arranging the plans to go, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. This immediately postponed all of my summer plans. My number one priority fell to my mom, and I told the family I didn’t think I could join their trip.

My parents, however, encouraged me to go regardless of the circumstances. During college, both of my parents had become involved in a Christian ministry called Cru. And after they graduated, they both were called by God to enter into ministry full-time. They’ve traveled across the world sharing the good news of Jesus, and they wanted me to do the same.

After that conversation, I reluctantly said I would go. By reluctantly, I mean this: I told the family I would only join them for two weeks instead of all four. I bought my plane ticket at the last possible second. I sent out my ask-letters to raise the money for the trip only a few short weeks before my departure date. I didn’t think or talk about the trip with anyone until the week I was leaving. And I didn’t pack my bags until the day of.

It wasn’t until I boarded my plane in Chicago, that the reality of what the next two weeks would entail started to settle in. First of all, I was joining the project late. My roommates for the next two weeks would already be adjusted and comfortable around each other, perhaps unwilling to welcome in a new person. Secondly, I felt unprepared to do ministry. After all, I hadn't practiced my testimony in awhile and I hadn't been diligent in reading my Bible lately. And finally, I was honestly afraid of the crime that accompanies a big city (the Orlando shooting was fresh in my mind).

Looking back now, I recognize that I was just coming up with excuses. But thankfully, I was already bound for L.A. and there was no turning back. God had already orchestrated these next two weeks for me. He was about to do something big in my heart.

When I was first picked up from the airport, I realized the trip would look a little different than I expected. Instead of babysitting the three kids I was already familiar with, I was offered to serve at a local education center for inner city kids. This was the site that the parents were going to be serving at in the afternoons and their kids were invited to join for the entire day. Since I flew out to L.A. mainly to take care of these three kids, I chose to serve at the center as a volunteer.

The trip ended up being eye-opening and life-altering as each day God taught me something new. There’s something special about being on a mission’s trip, out of your comfort zone, where your purpose is purely gospel-driven and it just opens up your heart to transformation.

Throughout the two weeks, God revealed to me three key things:

I’m very privileged.

Before this trip, I had no idea what white privilege was. I had no idea people of other ethnicities faced certain realities every single day that I never have to deal with. I assumed everyone walked through the world the same way I did. Having gone to a predominately white high school and university, I never got to become close friends with girls of minorities. In L.A., I was finally the minority and I realized growing up in a home with two loving, financially and emotionally stable parents was rare. I also learned there are certain hardships I will never face because I'm white.

I need to live by the Holy Spirit, and not by my emotions.

For the past few years, my life had been led by my emotions. I would make impulsive decisions based on what I was feeling at the time. Thankfully, none of them completely ruined my life but I wasn’t the person I wanted to be because I let my emotions dictate my actions. For example, I didn’t read my Bible daily because most days I felt too busy. Also I ate unhealthy, sugary foods as comfort. And while I didn’t become obese or anything, I always felt sick. And I overtrained in my sport, track & field, because I would get strong desires to be the best (which led me to several major injuries). I didn’t make logical decisions. I made emotional decisions. In L.A., a beautiful woman on staff with AIA named, Candi, gave a talk on the Holy Spirit, and at the moment I realized I needed to rely on Him for all decisions in life.

I don't have to be perfect before God can use me.

Because of my own insecurities and sin, I’ve missed a lot of opportunities to share my faith, even though God has done incredible things for me in my life. I think I’ve just always been afraid to be the one to speak the gospel to someone because I hadn’t completely mastered it myself. God used me in L.A. to speak the gospel to those around me, and I realized my imperfections weren’t gone, but they were used to promote what God has done for me.

All this being said, I would have never been changed this deeply and brought this incredible new perspective had I not gone on this trip.

But the point is, I didn’t want to go. I would have been more comfortable at home, taking care of my mom, sleeping in my own bed, being surrounded by my other privileged friends who have the same background as me. However, sometimes we have to be out of our comfort zone, where our hearts are fragile and vulnerable, to best be molded more like Jesus.

If we always wait for the perfect moment to act, it will never come. In fact, no one is ever fully ready for anything God has in store for us. The beautiful part of this is that He uses us in our broken state. He’s continually working on us and changing us. A lot of people think that when they make the decision to follow Christ, they’re instantly a better person. But the truth is, we’re still just as weak. We have to rely on the Holy Spirit each moment.

Let me close with a short story. One day in L.A. I woke up to a text from one of my childhood best friends, Annika, whose parents are also in ministry. She said she had a dream about us the night before. We had gotten our first tattoos together. She said she got the word “grace” tattooed on her arm, and on the side of my finger, I chose the word “go.”

The timing of her dream couldn't be more perfect and I was instantly given chills. This short, simple verb is powerful and exactly what I need to remind myself of each day. Despite my weaknesses, my insecurities, my doubts, and my fears, I need to go. Go share the good news of the gospel. Share what Jesus has done for me on the cross. What changes He has made in me. Changes that are making me more like Him.

I don’t need to wait for the perfect moment, I just need to go.