Plot twist: Everything we know about happiness is a lie.
From the books you read to the commercials you see in between Football plays, we are conditioned to think from an early age that happiness is a passive thing. Happiness will come to us and bless our lives with its presence when we buy that new pair of shoes, and get the second one free; when we go to school and earn a degree; when we found our perfect match and eHarmony is here to help; when you go on that Caribbean vacation and escape the grey monotony that is city living.
You’ll be happy once you get that promotion at work. You’ll be happy once you buy a nice house and finally move out of your studio apartment. You’ll be happy when you have a serious relationship. You’ll be happy once you’ve traveled the world in your own version of eat, pray, love.
When, when, when, when, when.
No one ever tells us that none of these things will actually make us happy, but rather only help to make us happy. The truth is, if you stake all of your happiness on some event far in the future, it won’t live up to your expectations because, well, it just can’t. Sure, vacation is a time of relaxation and tranquility, but it is also the time of bad sunburns, hangovers, and the constant internal battle of whether or not to check your emails “just in case.” Getting a promotion is an amazing accomplishment, but it also means that you now have more responsibilities, more accountability, and can often times be an overwhelming thing. Getting the opportunity to travel and see the world will definitely change you, but there will be days when you horrific food poisoning from who knows what or you’ll get lost and find yourself unable to communicate with anyone efficiently enough to find your way back.
Happiness isn’t something that merely happens to us. Happiness is something that you have to work towards every day. You have to find happiness today, now, and not put it off until tomorrow. Life, as long as it may seem, is still much to short to spend even just one day unhappy without a good reason.
This is not to say that you should not plan for the future, or be excited for what is to come. Looking forward to something is natural and definitely can contribute to your happiness. But instead of saying “I’ll be happy when _____ happens” you should say “I can’t wait for ______, but I am happy with what I have now.”
Happiness is found in the little things we do every day. It’s go for a jog and feeling great afterwards; it’s re-reading that book for the 100th time because you just love it so much; it’s singing very loud and slightly off key in your underwear because no one is home; it’s eating that second piece of cake because you’ve been doing so well on your diet and you deserve it.
So don’t wait for happiness, chase it! Sit with your hot cup of coffee in the morning and make a list of ten things that you are grateful you have right now: a comfortable bed, your favorite creamer, new socks that don’t slip into the back of your sneakers, and so on. You will be amazing at how much your life will change once you change your outlook just a bit.
Being positive doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days. It doesn’t mean you cannot be annoyed, upset, or even depressed. What it means is that you let yourself have those feelings, and then let them go. If you’re annoyed that your boss, who you’ve been working for three years by now, still pronounces your name wrong, getting angry about it and then move on. It’s obviously not bothering him so why should you let it bother you?
Don’t let other people control your happiness. At the end of the day, the only person who matters is you. So if your boss says your name wrong, politely correct them, than treat yourself to a fancy Starbucks cup and laugh when they get it wrong too.
Each and everyone of use deserves to live a life that is overflowing with happiness. Find what makes you happy and stick with it. I’d rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable any day of the week.
