Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay. That is something we've always known, but that doesn't make it any easier to swallow.

This year in college, I received a hard dose of reality when I was knocked on my ass by my own anxiety. I was diagnosed with panic disorder in November of 2015, and within a few short months I became a shell of my former self. I went from a girl who was bubbly, friendly and energetic to a depressed and anxious person who didn't even care to get out of bed. I no longer wanted to go out or socialize. I was at the lowest point in my life and found myself growing extremely distant from the group of people who were closest to me, embarrassed of my struggle with mental illness and not wanting to be a burden to others. This ultimately resulted in the end of a handful of friendships. I beat myself up about this for a long time, thinking that there was something wrong with me. I blamed myself, that my problems were too much of a hassle for them and spent hours agonizing over the things I could've done differently to save these friendships. But, one day, I came to a realization that I will forever be better for: people who aren't there for you and don't support you through your toughest times are not your real friends, and you don't need these people in your life. You're better off without them.

I've learned that you shouldn't be afraid to cut toxic people out of your life. Toxic people are people who just make you feel like shit. They belittle you and criticize you and are only there for the ups, not the downs. They let you walk away when they know you're going through a tough time. The people who make you feel bad for being who you are and are embarrassed of your struggles should hit the road. I've begun to realize that if a person doesn't contribute positively to who you want to be, then ditch them. It will hurt, as change often does. When you find yourself looking back on the good memories and wondering if you've made the right decision, just remember this: You want to surround yourself with like-minded people, with the same aspirations as you, who are sympathetic to your issues, who build you up, not break you down.

My anxiety has screwed up a few things about my life, but I really do believe that it changed me a lot for the better. Although I lost friends, I connected with amazing girls who showed me infinite love and support, and found appreciation for old friends who I had often taken for granted. I've become much more introspective, and as I recover from this low point in my life, I am able to look at things much more clearly in retrospect. The people who left me did me a favor. I didn't need those toxic people, and neither do you.