If you look on any social media website, you'll see tons of advice recommending you to "love yourself first". Some even go as far as saying you can't love others until you truly love yourself.
Pardon my French, but that's absolute crap.
I'm one of those people who hasn't learned the art of self-love yet. It's a never-ending struggle, especially when people tell me to just "try". But just because I don't love myself doesn't mean my love for others is in any way less real or cheapened.
I've had variations of this argument since I realized that I didn't love myself. A lot of people have said that it's sad I don't love myself, or I actually do and just haven't realized it yet. Maybe they're right. But that gives them no right to tell me that I'm incapable of loving others.
I used this sentiment on someone the other day, and they told me it didn't mean I didn't love others, but it wasn't romantic love. It was just familial love, and they said it in a way that made it seem like this kind of love didn't count, or was lesser.
I completely disagree.
Love is love is love is love, and it shouldn't matter if this love is romantic or not, because all love is important. All love is worthy of feeling, of having or experiencing. Not loving myself will never change this fact, no matter how hard you try and convince me of the opposite.
No matter if it's romantic or not, no matter if it's someone I've met a week ago or someone I've known for years, I am still capable of deciding who I love, and when I love, and if I even want to love at all.
That's the beauty of love.
It's true that when I think of love, I don't think of myself. But I think of my family and my friends, I think of funny laughs and crooked smiles, I think of all the photographs I have pinned up in my room. I think of the undying affection I have for so many people in my life, and I think of the fact that some of them echo it back onto me.
It's true that when I think of love, I never think of myself first, never think of my blonde hair and blue eyes, or my insane obsession with fictional characters. It's true that I'd rather put myself down than love myself.
But this doesn't mean I'm a monster incapable of love.
It means that I love others more than myself, before myself. Maybe that's not healthy but that's the truth.
Don't try and cheapen the love and adoration I feel for everyone who will read this article, by saying it's meaningless because I haven't chosen to love myself. Because someday you might feel the same way, and if it's not you then maybe it's your best friend, your mom, your brother, or the person you just met a week ago.
Love is love is love is love.
And my love means just as much as yours, even if I don't reserve it for myself.
