I'm the exact definition of a people-pleaser. It has always been a part of who I am, almost like it was engineered in me. It’s not exactly a bad thing, but it’s also not the best trait either. Here is what I mean by this.
You are person A. You are this happy, loving human who wants to give the world everything. Then there is person B. Person B isn’t a fan of something you choose, so you bend a little, morph into what person B will like. Now enters person C, someone who is a little upset about the way something is happening. You adapt again and take the attributes of person C until they’re satisfied.
"That's alright though," you tell yourself. Because their pleasure brings you contentment. This continues through the alphabet of people you will meet and have in your life, like a never-ending cycle.
Now you’re alone in your thoughts. You stare at your reflection in the mirror, but who is staring back? You have become a concoction of all these letters. Can you see that maybe only a small part of you left is person A? You have given so much of yourself for the satisfaction of others that you began to lose who you were in the process.
It’s never wrong to help the people you care about and to simply meet their needs sometimes, but you should never change who you are to please them. They should never ask you to either. Take this next sentence and absorb it.
It alright to say "no."
Say "no" to the things that you don’t like. Say "no" to the people who ask way too much of you without reason. Say "no" to the people who want you to change unreasonable amounts just to please themselves.
But there is a flipside.
Say "yes" to the people and activities you enjoy. Say "yes" to what drives your happiness in this world. Say "yes" to yourself.
There will always be people who will judge, push, and bully you. There will always be someone who doesn’t like your attitude or even the way you dress. That’s on them though. You cannot control the way people perceive you without losing yourself in the process.
Don’t lose yourself in the idea that others will like this shell of who you aren’t.
Wear whatever your style is, tell those awful jokes that people roll their eyes at but secretly love, and dance like it’s raining after a drought.
Do what makes your heart beat fast and what makes your smile grow.
You only get one chance at this life. Don’t spend it satisfying the needs of others. You have infinite opportunities to do what makes you radiant in a world of dreary times. And I promise, the people that matter to you will stick around and love you the most when you are true to yourself.
As Dr. Seuss wisely expressed, “Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”.
