Constantly feeling like no one likes you no matter how hard you try? Chances are if you feel this way, you are a people pleaser. Honestly, I think the world needs more people pleasers (in a way) because it shows that people care about what other people think. Now, this does not mean that it should dictate the way we live but it's nice to know someone out there cares about your opinion. If you are or think you might be a people pleaser, I want you to do some soul searching after reading this article and I hope you come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you except what you think of yourself. Other people's opinions should not be the driving force behind your own life and your own opinions. You have something to show the world, and it isn't worth hiding it away so other people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will find you. It's impossible to please everyone, so consider tossing other people's opinions to the wind and doing whatever it is that pleases you. Here are 10 signs that you probably care too much about other people's opinions.
1. You are always apologizing.
If something goes wrong, you feel responsible for it so you apologize. If someone feels bad, you typically feel like you caused them to feel that way and you once again apologize. Needless to say, if you ever feel like someone is upset, frustrated, mad, or sad because of you, you feel as if it's your fault. It's usually not your fault but being a people pleaser makes you feel this way.
2. You pretend to agree with everyone else.
For some reason, your own personal opinion on topics seems to disappear in order for everyone to get along. Forget the fact you may have a strong opinion opposing gun control, abortion, raising taxes, etc if your friends vocalize opposing views, you typically keep your mouth shut and nod. No need for an argument to break out.
3. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.
No one likes it when someone is mad at them but if you are a people pleaser, it bugs you on a whole other level. You feel sick and you over analyze every interaction with that person until you go mad. God forbid someone doesn't like you because that means you haven't fulfilled your job as a people pleaser. (Notice: this is impossible to achieve as you can't make everyone happy but you feel like you need to)
4. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
If you had the money, I bet you would leave the country if you could. If you can't afford a plane ticket, you settle on going to your safe places where there won't be any confrontation. Sometimes, you let other people steam roll you verbally, mentally, and emotionally just to avoid a fight. Why can't we all just get along?
5. You don't admit when your feelings are hurt.
You're fine...not really but you're not going to tell anyone that. Who cares about how you feel, you care about how other people feel. If other people feel shitty you feel shitty. If they are happy, most of the time you are happy too.
6. You feel responsible for how other people feel.
If they feel shitty, you feel shitty. Even worse, you feel responsible for their feelings. News flash, it's not your problem it's theirs! If you say something and they get upset, that's their problem. You can't control people's emotions so why stress about something you can't control?
7. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.
It's EXHAUSTING trying to please multiple different people and keeping everyone happy. You get emotionally drained and this can eventually lead to feeling burdened. Instead of worrying about what makes you happy and dealing with one person at a time, you deal with a mass amount of people at one time
8. You act like the people around you.
The less attention you draw towards yourself, the better. In this case, you adopt the mannerisms of the people you are around so you don't stick out like a sore thumb. This is especially true if these people are new people. If you are caught in a fight between two people, you tend to side with whoever you are talking with so you don't upset them any further. Forget your own thoughts on the matter, it only matters what the other person feels/thinks.
9. You need praise to feel good.
If you are going through all this trouble to have people like you, you LOVE to hear that you are "awesome" or "cool". Finally, some recognition for all your hard work that you do to make people like you. After all, their happiness is your happiness so it's good to hear they appreciate your efforts.
10. You can't say no.
Want to go here? Sure. Want to stay up late? I guess. Will you drive me to the airport at 5 am? Why not. You can't say no because no heightens the risk of a sad or disappointed look from someone you love. So like a millennial parent, you can't say no to anything meaning you do a bunch of stuff you don't want to do in order to make others happy.