The gym is a fun place. You go there to work out, get a good run in and make yourself feel good overall. If you’ve been going for a while, you’ve probably got a groove that you're into. You throw in the headphones, work through your machines and move through your workout.
However, every once in a while you’ll see that one guy and ask yourself, “what is he doing?” You have just caught a glimpse of the newbie. Whenever someone first starts going to the gym, before they get really into it, there is a stage where, yeah – they’re going to work out, but they have no idea what they’re doing. This is a guide to spotting the newbie.
The most obvious indicator of the gym freshman is that he will more than likely be wearing the same clothes he was in all day long. I don’t care if you’re just lifting chest, that doesn’t mean you need to wear your jeans to the gym. Nothing traps heat, makes you sweat harder or look more stupid than wearing any kind of denim at the gym. I’m sure those cargo shorts are great for holding whatever you put in cargo shorts, but when you’re at the gym you don’t need access to 15 pockets. Notice that this is the exact opposite of the gym douche who dresses in what is, basically, a thong for his pecs. So don’t underdress to try to look like you belong. Just throw on a pair of gym shorts, which you can tell are what you’re supposed to wear because that's what they’re called.
Another defining characteristic of the new-lifters is the way they act. They come in two varieties – the guys who are painfully shy and introverted and the guys who are gonna jump right in even if they don’t know what to do. The former is noticeable because he workouts from behind the screen of his iPhone. I’m not sure if these guys are the most popular kids ever or if they just play flappy bird. Regardless, they will not speak to anyone at the gym. They also, generally, pull the creepy card and sit on a machine and watch everyone else to see how they’re lifting. I don’t mind watching to see how to do something, but wouldn’t it be better to put down the cell phone and maybe ask?
While silent-but-creepy is one example of a new lifter, the outgoing newbies guys are, by far, my favorite. Instead of being daunted by this new environment, they jump in with both feet. They hop on the first machine that catches their attention, regardless of whether or not they know which muscle they want to work out. They put on so much weight that they having to bring in their legs to do a bicep curl. Let me go ahead and say that if it looks like you’re having a seizure to get that first rep, you have too much weight on or you are doing that lift heinously wrong! One of the best examples I’ve seen was an individual wearing jeans at the pull up bar. Instead of doing chin ups, like a regular lifter would, he flipped his body so he was upside down and his legs were above his head. Then he began to spasm on the bar in, what I call, a shin up. This is a perfect example of the classic blunder of acting before you know what is going on.
So, avoid these actions, dress like you’ve done something athletic before in your life and you’ll be fine.