I don’t mean to brag, but for a girl my age, I’ve had a lot of great loves in my life. For as long as I can remember, men have professed their feelings to me in the most romantic and thoughtful ways. The problem was always me. I could never reciprocate feelings on the same level. Maybe it was because I was 12. But I digress. What young girl just entering puberty wouldn’t respond positively to a man twice her age (this is a conservative estimate) she’s never seen winking and blowing a kiss at her from the safety of his car? What can I say? I guess I just don’t take advantage of the opportunities that come my way. At least there will always be a next time.
Sarcasm over. Catcalling is a serious issue that is not given nearly enough attention. Before I continue, I would just like to mention that yes, I am aware that not all men catcall and all genders are capable of catcalling. I am just using personal experiences and experiences that my friends have relayed to me.
My first experience with catcalling was geared toward a woman in my vicinity. I was 10 and walking with an older family friend behind a woman who was quite slim. As we walked past two construction workers who were on break, one poked the other and said, “She’s as flat as a board that’s in need of a screw.” He didn’t bother to keep his voice down, not caring whether or not his words would hurt her. This comment itself is interesting in that it was both a proposition for sex and an insult (his inflection made it an insult; being flat-chested is absolutely not a bad thing). What did he expect her response to be? That’s the thing, what do people expect to happen? Once, while I was on a walk with friends after dinner, a man stopped in front of us as we were crossing the street. He looked me up and down, licking his lips, making his intentions very clear. I actually laughed in his face. Did he expect me to profess my undying love, hop on his one-seated bicycle and ride off into the sunset?
What's scary is that many, if not all, teenage girls have at least one story like this. Friends have ranted to me about strange men giving them lascivious, open-mouthed stares and calling them “beautiful” and “sweetheart” from open car windows, offering to buy them drinks and being followed by cars while on foot. Even scarier is that this is normally the only time that the topic is brought up. I, probably along with many other girls, have been told by my mother, “Don’t engage, just ignore.” While this concept can seem maddening in the heat of the moment, it is the safest and most tactical way of dealing with an unsavory character. Retaliation is a potentially dangerous option when you don’t know what your opponent is capable of. In this context, women are not only objectified but controlled and left powerless, unable to fight back.
The situation does not seem to be getting better. Even in 2016, girls are met with the throwaway comments, “That’s just what men do,” or, “Well, you’re just going to have to be more careful.” More careful than what? Minding my own business, walking in my mid-sized town in broad daylight wearing clothes? Girls should not have to sacrifice expressing themselves through their clothing on the off chance that a collarbone or thigh muscle might trigger an unwanted assault.
In a grotesque way, I’m “lucky.” I am comfortable enough in myself that I am aware that it’s not my fault. I know that I have autonomy over my body. I have never been put in a position where I was genuinely fearful for my safety. Catcalling, in my personal experience, has been more of an annoyance than an actual danger. But I hardly call this a victory. Surely, teenage girls deserve to live lives without the “annoyance” of blatant sexual harassment.
This concluding sentiment is directed at the men who think that preying on young girls is nothing to be ashamed of. We are not holograms placed in your vicinity for your viewing pleasure. We are not accessories to be played or toyed with. We are not going to solve your midlife crisis. We are real people with real plans to attend to. I suggest you do the same.
