Here are 7 frequently asked questions about cattcalling:
1. What is catcalling?
Any noise (whistling, whooping, etc) or words intended sexually directed at an individual, usually in passing, and usually done towards strangers.
2. Why is catcalling considered a problem?
Catcalling is considered a problem because most of the time, it is done to get a laugh out of friends or show dominance over the person one is yelling to. If you are really interested in this topic, there is lots of literature and scholarly articles that pick apart this phenomenon piece by piece, explaining each little concept. If you take the time to read it, you’ll have a full understanding of the topic.
If you want a really short summary of why it’s a problem, it boils down to the intention of the action. If you ask many people why they do the action, they will say it is to try and hook up with the person being yelled to. But that can’t be true--usually, whoever did the yelling runs away or drives away, instantly. So it’s clear that isn’t the intention. But if you don’t want to get with the person you’re yelling with and you don’t want to compliment them (see below), then why is it done?
Like I said, it’s complex. But the simple answer is that it is done because you can. Because in our society, it is normal--okay, even, to shout degrading and insulting things at other people through your car window, and if you feel icky about it, or upset by it, you will be told to brush it off. Because insulting others and then hiding and laughing about it is okay to us, and has no punishment. Because we continue to let it happen and not yell at our friends when they do it, it continues--yelling at someone sexually and disrespectfully continues to be okay.
3. Why is catcalling not a compliment?
Catcalling is not a compliment because when it is done, the perpetrator does not want the person to feel happy, or appreciate what has been said. A compliment intends to make someone feel good about themselves, not disrespected.
4. Where is the line drawn between catcalling and complimenting someone?
A compliment is, by definition, giving someone praise for something. It is done to make the other person feel good about said thing, and to make them aware that you appreciate it. So of course, compliments can be given to someone about their looks, but it’s all about the way you do it, and what is said.
For example, if you wouldn’t say it to someone that you know, it probably shouldn’t be said. If you wouldn’t say it at a restaurant or other public scene that you would have to actually see the person again afterward, it shouldn’t be said. Overall, if you’re wondering if what you’re saying is offensive, it probably is.
If your argument is that you genuinely see a pretty girl on the side of the road and you are driving by and want her to know, then I don’t see anything wrong with telling her she’s pretty. But telling someone they look pretty is very different than honking your horn and whistling, or yelling “nice ass” out your window.
5. Who can catcall others/who generally does? Who receives catcalls?
Any gender can do the act itself, and any gender can receive it. More often than not, men catcall women, but it can and is done both ways.
6. Why do men seem to get in trouble for catcalling women, but women can catcall men and it is portrayed as “funny” by the media/our overall culture?
The answer to this question is actually really quite sad. Like the answer to #2, it’s much more complex than what I’ll be able to cover in this article, but I’ll try to do another quick summary. Basically, the answer is that our society has a longstanding history of violence against women, and this same history is not present for men. Not only is this historical, it still exists today--I don’t think I need to provide evidence that women have sexual violence committed to them more often than men, and therefore feel more threatened by strange men shouting at them sexually than men do when strange women shout at them.
Because of the history of sexual violence, oppression, and power imbalances for women, catcalling is often felt more deeply. As a women being shouted at on the street, my friends and I often feel unsafe as well as offended and gross, whereas many men I’ve asked don’t feel the fear associated with catcalling. Although it may (and should!) offend them and irritate them, they usually do not worry about the woman coming back to harm them.
That being said, it does not mean that I think it is okay for women to catcall men by any means or under any circumstances. I don’t think it’s funny, and I don’t think that the way to achieve equality is to hurt men like women have traditionally been hurt. I think to pursue equality and end catcalling, everyone should be able to walk down the street and be free of sexual harassment. Anyone telling you they are a feminist and think it’s okay to catcall men, support movies like “Magic Mike”, etc. but say it isn’t okay for men to do the reverse of these things isn’t a feminist, they’re a misandrist...but that’s a rant for another day.
