Self-confidence is hard. It's hard for me, hard for you, it's even hard for Beyoncé. Even the most secure people have hard days, days that aren't filled with self-love. I know I have those days when my eyebrows haven't been waxed in a few months, or if I'm just having a shitty day. Some people really lack self confidence. But my advice to those people is... the best way to love yourself is to love others. Don't bring someone else down, just because you feel down about yourself.

I know, I heard it too. How can loving others help me love myself? Well, just hear me out. I get it, it's easier said than done. On your worst days, it just seems easier to be hateful. When you don't love yourself, you feel like you should bring others down with you. I know these feelings, because not only have I been there too, but I've been on the receiving end of someone hurting me because they don't love themselves.

I'm a lover, if you're a frequent reader of mine you will know that. But outside of my hopelessly romantic ways, I love deeply for all people- my friends especially. It is just my innate tendency to love the crap out of people. I just want to be everyone's friend, I want everyone to like me... and that's my downfall. I put so much energy into trying to make someone like me, that I'm always heartbroken when they don't turn out to be a true friend.

In one instance, I had a friend who wasn't secure in themselves. Well, to be honest, she never told me she was insecure, I have just sort of assumed by her behavior. Her insecurity and hateful attitude were evident in the way she tried to bring me down.

Whenever we would have conversations, she was always invalidating everything I was saying, to make me seem lesser. When we would go places, she would go out of her way to make a negative comment about my dress or my hair. When we would talk about my relationship, she would try to point out that my relationship was inferior to hers. It came to a point where her insecurity and mean comments, were making ME feel insecure.

Now, I'm not always the most self-confident person. Somedays I feel fat, or I hate my hair, or I think I could be a better friend or girlfriend... but I know who I am. I know my heart and my morals, and I like who that person is. I am proud of my heart and my mind, and I am confident in myself because of it.

But, in being friends with such a toxic, self-loathing, and hateful person, I was starting to adopt those opinions about myself that she tried to tell me were true. When she would diss my outfit or my makeup, the rest of the night I would worry if everyone else thought I looked awful, too. No matter how many times I was complimented, her hateful words were all i heard in my head. Every time she would tell me my relationship was bad, I would run to my boyfriend for validation that things were good (something he couldn't stand). I was letting someone who hated themselves, let me hate myself.

So recently, I decided to stop. To stop letting that ONE person affect me. My views on my beauty, my life, my relationship and myself shouldn't be determined by someone else. Especially not someone else who doesn't love themselves. When you remove the toxic nature of a "friend" like that, you realize how much happier you can be.

Kill that person with kindness. Now, when I see her and I know her comments will be negative, I am silent and when I must respond, I am kind. Do not change for the people who say you should. You don't have to be good enough for them when they aren't even good enough for themselves.