Why? Because it’s abstract and ongoing.

Over the past few years when people asked me what I wanted to do with my life, I always responded, “Be happy.” I’m not happy every minute of everyday, as was made very clear in my last article. (“Depression Sucks”) But generally speaking, I’m am so incredibly happy. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. A

Obviously all of us want to be happy. Some of us have always been happy, while others struggle everyday. Striving for happiness should be a daily goal for all of us, but it shouldn’t be our main goal in life.

I used to think aiming for happiness was a noble life plan. I thought it was selfless. I thought it was honorable. I thought it was empowering. But I’ve changed my mind. It was just a cover for having no idea what I wanted.

Let’s go back to an elementary school english lesson and remember the difference between concrete and abstract. Concrete nouns are things you can use your senses to experience. Abstract nouns, however, are intangible. You can not experience them with your five senses.

Happiness is abstract. It floats out in the universe without any technical or scientific way to touch, taste, smell, hear or see it. A main life goal should not be abstract. There is no way to measure if you have reached an abstract goal. And since no one is happy all the time, the idea of happiness is not a destination that can be reached. Happiness is out there, and we choose on a daily basis how we will incorporate it into our lives, but it is not a destination we reach.

At the risk of sounding terribly pessimistic, I should clarify something. It wasn’t wrong that I was aiming for happiness in life. It was a great thing for me to reach for at the given time. As someone who struggled, and still struggles, with depression, aiming for happiness was what I thought I needed to do. But now I realize there is more to life than simply striving for happiness.

So what should you aim for, if not happiness?

I believe in concrete goals. I believe in short and long term goals. I believe in accountability with yourself and others. Your desires should be concrete and often much bigger than you. You should aim to be the best, happiest version of yourself everyday, not keep happiness as a long term goal that you may or may never reach.

Brainstorm about the concrete details of your life that make you happy and create goals from these things. For example, watching the sunrise regularly, doing yoga, surrounding myself with passionate people, and staying productive are just a few things that make me happy. Therefore my goals and life plans revolve around these tangible experiences. Not just the idea of happiness that isn’t concrete.

You should want to be happy, but there is more to happiness than desiring happiness. You have to break it down, plan it out, and do something to make it happen. If you are doing the things that make you happy and strategically making an effort to strive for your goals, there you will find happiness. Happiness will not always find you, but it’s always out there for you to reach for.

Make goals about what you want in the future. Your career aspirations, your desires for relationships romantic, platonic, and family. Find activities and habits that keep you grounded. Take care of your body and mind, because they are the two things in life you can never replace.

Happiness is not a goal. Happiness is something you find along the way, if you’re living your best life, now.

xoxo,

Lizzie