Sometimes it can be difficult to be the person to always say sorry. It’s a blessing and a curse to be one of those people who will do anything not to hurt others. You go through hoops and life feels like this giant obstacle course that never really has a finish line where you are finally able to stop saying you’re sorry.

There is no return to apologizing, either. The times that you ask for forgiveness to avoid confrontation, even when you were not the one at fault only weigh on the conscious like Atlas, holding the world on his shoulders. It’s minor things that build up in time, suddenly becoming a huge burden you are forced to handle.

This is why I’m doing apologizing. Don’t get me wrong- I will admit when I am wrong and will own up to my flaws, as everyone should. But we should not subject ourselves to being weak or allowing others to consistently believe that their actions are justified. We cannot bow down because we don’t want to face a difficult situation. We cannot say “yes” and agree to something we are against just because we are afraid of someone telling us that we are wrong. Am I being clear yet?

When someone is angry with me, I am likely to feel the sting and back away immediately-- I don’t like being yelled at, and I don’t like feeling belittled, as someone in an angry confrontation is likely to do. I suddenly forget everything I wanted to say and every reason why I thought I was right. I become small, worrisome, and very concerned with someone else’s opinion of me. Moments like this seem like the end of the world, but I think I never really stop to take the time and look at the world around me, and how loving it really is.

I have friends who love me and know me-- they believe in me and encourage me to be a better version of myself. They don’t try to label me or define me. I have a wonderful family who supports me endlessly and loves me despite my flaws. I have people in my life who lift me up through their actions, kind words, faith, and courage every day. When I think about it, there is so much to be thankful for, and so little to worry about. Sometimes in stressful, dark times, it is hard to remember that there is a light.

So here is my advice:

Find your faith. A person immersed in God is more likely to know themselves. There is a sense of freedom and independence that is immeasurable anywhere else.

Don’t let others define you. Do not rely on others’ opinions and likes/dislikes to morph your personality and change you into someone you are not. You should not have to apologize for being yourself, and the people you surround yourself with should not try to change you.

Treat others in the way you want to be treated. It’s the famous Golden Rule, but a lot of times we forget this. We forget that the people around us are real humans with very real feelings. This is why it is important to treat them with respect, and hopefully, expect the same in return.

Most of all, don’t try to fix the unfixable. Sometimes, you are not in control of whether or not someone thinks highly of you. You are in control of your reaction, however. So make it a positive one. By being yourself, you open the door for people who genuinely care and love you, flaws and all.

Ten years from now, these years won’t matter as much, anyways. People are meant to come and go from our lives, whether or not we want to accept it. Take the time to breathe and not worry so much about having to apologize for every little thing. It’s not always your fault. It’s not always your place to worry. Let God take control and let your mind be at peace. It will all work out, in the end.