Sometimes, you just don't have time to watch movies, so we got Donald Trump to explain some of his recent viewing experiences for you to save some time.

Disclaimer: Spoilers.

1. "The Terminal" (2004), dir. Steven Spielberg

Alright, so this guy gets stuck in an airport, OK? First off—OK, The JFK Airport, right? Anyone can navigate it; I certainly can. And Kennedy -- not the best president, kind of weak on the issues, but alright. So this guy—the main guy in the movie, he’s an immigrant, he’s not an American at all. And he’s in this airport for months, OK? Who is allowing this? Stanley Tucci is allowing it, folks. No surprises there, bald little liberal man. Not a very good actor. I would have picked Kelsey Grammar for this role. There’s an actor for you.

Anyway, this guy—this illegal is just being allowed in New York City, the greatest city on earth in the greatest country on earth. You know, it’s disgusting—it’s disgusting that Stanley Tucci is allowing this. Some stuff happens, nothing too interesting. Catherine Zeta Jones is here and—Catherine, you know, she’s not an American either; she wasn’t even born in this beautiful country, and I think that impacted her performance here.

Where was I? Oh yeah, "The Terminal," right. So, turns out this guy—the illegal—his face has been bothering me the entire time, I can’t figure out who he is, right? It’s Tom Hanks! He wasn’t an illegal. But you know, and I gotta be honest here, I’m always honest—Tom, he’s a bit of a weak actor, you know? A weak liberal actor. He used to do great movies like "Turner and Hooch." These days, I just don’t know. Wish you would reconsider your career, Tom.

So this other Indian guy—he’s a janitor, you know, and I think that’s really sad because an American should have that job—and he tries to stop the plane, in an homage to Timonen Square. Kumar, I gotta tell you, I wish you had been an American actor, because that was quite a scene. I respect that.

If only I could respect this movie, Stanley Tucci lets Tom Hanks into my city and that’s just sad, you know? It’s sad. An illegal walking free. Zero stars.


(No Trumps)

2. "Air Force One" (1997), dir. Wolfgang Petersen

Okay so now let me tell you about Harrison Ford, because he’s not a very good actor, is he? Harrison has said some pretty mean things about me, you know, and I play fair. I play nice. You know, in an interview, I said Harrison was a good guy, standing up to the terrorists in this movie. And then he goes and says something nasty about me. But you know, I’m a nice guy. I don’t start things. But I gotta remind you, I gotta remind you, Harrison. Remember "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"? I sure do.

Anyway, "Air Force One" is a great movie, very American. Harrison Ford is on the plane, he’s going to get off the plane, but first he has to save his family. He’s gotta stop Gary Oldman too, which is good. I don’t like Gary Oldman very much.

So, you know, it’s a good movie. I’m not crazy about Glenn Close in it, though, I gotta tell you. She reminds me of Crooked Hillary. And there’s something about a woman in a position of authority that just puts me in a bad mood.

Where was I? Right, "Air Force One." So, a lot of people die, but Harrison Ford gets Gary Oldman and he saves the day. By the way, Harrison, you say I don’t know the difference between movies and real life, but you don’t seem to know the difference between a movie and a dead franchise, do you? See, I can play dirty if I have to.

3. "The Lobster" (2015), dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

Let me just say that -- let me just put it out there that Colin Farrell is a terrific actor. Absolutely terrific. I’ve met him, we’re good friends, I’ve met him many times and this man is definitely not a loser. I cannot stress this enough. This man is not a loser, but what makes him such a good actor is that he can pretend to be one.

That’s what acting is about. I should know. I’ve acted in films before myself. Anyway, in this film Colin plays a loser -- totally against type -- he plays this loser who gets dumped by his wife. His wife leaves him for another man. A real loser, but then he has to find someone else in this hotel or he gets turned into an animal. Now this hotel isn’t very nice -- I think they should have consulted me; I could have given them a few tips; but anyways, he’s gonna be turned into an animal if he doesn’t find someone in a month and a half. He says he wants to be a lobster when he fails -- he doesn’t even think he can succeed, that’s how you know he isn’t successful.

Me? What animal would I be? I wouldn’t be turned into an animal because I’m not a loser. I believe in the beauty of marriage and would never leave my beautiful wife. I have to be honest -- I’m an honest guy, that’s who I am, I can’t not be honest -- I didn’t finish the film. I’m a busy man. My businesses don’t run themselves. I run them.

I’m sure Colin found a gorgeous women and had an even more gorgeous daughter with her. I’ll give the film three stars, though, not because I didn’t finish it, but because that’s the highest -- that’s the most I’m willing to reward a loser. I’m not Little Marco. I don’t believe in failure.

(Three Trumps)

4. "Jack & Jill" (2011), dir. Dennis Dugan

Alright, so right off the bat, this is a pretty controversial movie. You know, you’ve got a man playing a woman, and that’s a little out there; that’s taking some risks. But he’s not one of these transsexual folks trying to get into the bathrooms, OK? This is Adam Sandler, who, next to Kelsey Grammar, is probably the greatest actor. Adam is a great guy; you know he’s—he’s just great. He’s Jewish but you know, sometimes a guy can be Jewish. I have lots of Jewish friends. And Adam is a good guy, a Republican guy. His movies always make me smile.

This one is a great one; of course the liberal press and the lame-stream media didn’t like it, but I think they missed the head on this one; I really do.

Adam plays these twins and they’re named—they’re called Jack and Jill, OK? Like, you know, the nursery rhyme? Anyway, so Jill loves Jack, but Jack isn’t having it -- you know, he’s a career man, and I respect that. Jill should respect that. She should respect her brother; he will be the patriarch of the family someday; she needs to respect him.

So then Al Pacino is falling for Jill and it’s funny because—because they’re both men and we know in reality they would never, I mean—that would be disgusting, I think that would be wrong, marriage is between a man and his mail-order Slavic wife.

Anyway, David Spade shows up later, and he’s not very funny at all, is he? Remember those old Capital One commericals? Donald Trump remembers.

The movie ends and I gotta admit, it’s a sobering ending; you might tear up a little bit. I mean, I didn’t, because I’m a man, and men don’t cry, but you know, you might.

(Four Trumps)

5. "Signs" (2002), dir. M. Night Shyamalan

So this Shyamalala-guy, he might not look real American, but he is, OK? Great guy, great movie maker. If I made a movie of my life, I’d probably get this guy to direct it. He doesn’t shy away from the scary stuff. "Signs" is about aliens—and I don’t mean the ones I’m building my wall to prevent, I mean the outer-space type, flying-saucer, the whole shebang, baby.

Anyway, Mel Gibson is the star—and I have to give it to Mel, you know, he gets a lot of crap from those Liberal Hollywood types for speaking his mind. I like a man who speaks his mind, like Mel. I think he’s got a lot of heart, you know, a lot of guts, this guy. We have very similar values. If Mel Gibson had been on "The Apprentice,"let me tell you, he probably would have won every season.

Now, I’m not saying this movie is perfect. I don’t know about this Joaquin Phoenix kid. What kind of name is Joaquin, anyway? I don’t trust him. Maybe they could have gotten someone else, somebody a little bit more like Mel.

What was I saying? Oh right, "Signs." Yeah, so I think there’s a thing about global warming, I mean they talk about water a lot. But let me tell you, this is science-fiction after all. Like that garbageperson Al Gore garbage movie is too. But that’s OK; it’s still not so bad, you know? It’s OK.

(Three Trumps)

6. "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" (1992), dir. Chris Columbus

OK, so you know, this kid Macaulay Culkin, he’s a good kid, likable American boy. Blonde hair, you know, blue eyes. Just like me. I like this kid. It’s a shame he grew up to be a muskrat, but you know, sometimes the system fails, and only because the liberals control the schools. Sorry, Macaulay, sorry that Obama failed you.

Where was I? This movie is an amazing movie, really amazing, and Kelsey Grammar isn’t even in this movie. It's still a standout. There's some moments in this movie that, I gotta tell you -- they're gripping. And funny! This is a funny movie. Very funny, very successful at the box-office, too, I gotta say.

Alright, alright... I’ll spoil it for you… I’m in it. That’s right. Me. Donald J. Trump, future leader of the free world, as an actor.

I wonder what my old man, Fred Trump, would say if he could have seen me, an actor on the silver screen. And you know, I won’t lie—I was pretty good. I could have starred in the movie for sure. I did go on to star in the most successful television program of all time, NBC’s "The Apprentice;" maybe you’ve heard of it? Uh-huh, of course you have.

Anyway, there’s more to that movie, but nobody cares.

(Five Trumps)