October is domestic violence awareness month. I wonder how many people actually know that. Actually, I wonder how many people talk about domestic violence. I feel that it has become a social taboo. Everyone goes silent as soon as the topic is brought up. We celebrate other months, change our profiles and bring awareness about other causes, but domestic violence is a "no no." It's unladylike like to bring up. It's only the victim's fault anyway. But surprisingly enough, we all know someone who has experienced domestic violence. So why aren't we talking about it? Explain to me how on a regular day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls to domestic violence hotlines nationwide and yet it makes people uncomfortable to talk about. I have learned three reasons why domestic violence has become a social taboo and I hope you can learn from them.
1. We are uneducated.
Schools across the United States give brief background information on Domestic Violence. More schools need to teach this because it's a growing problem with younger generations. If an incident were to happen, most children would be clueless. This also means that these children will then grow into adults who have no prior knowledge of what domestic violence actually is. These now adults could be experiencing domestic violence and never know because of the lack of education. So how are we ever supposed to create a world where domestic violence doesn't exist if it's society's worst kept secret? We have men and women all across 50 states worried and scared to come forward. They have no clue about help and many never reach out. There are too many resource centers, safe havens and hotlines for people to go uneducated. The tools are out there to become educated people, so why aren't we?
2. We are unaffected.
19% of domestic violence involves a weapon
1 in 5 women and 1 in 71 men in the United States has been raped in their lifetime
1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence
Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries
Do any of these statistics move you? For many people in the moment, it does. For the few minutes you might devote yourself to reading these or you might start to realize that this actually is a problem, but it stops there for many. That is one of the main problems. Unless they are personally affected, people don't understand. Our society has a judgmental mindset where if you experience domestic violence it's your fault. "Why don't you just leave" or "Stay for the children" are heard on a daily basis. Unless it's happening to you it's not your business, not your child, and not your problem, but that's wrong. We shouldn't shy away at that, we should want to help our friends and families. Not turn the other way and act like it didn't happen.
3. We are under-motivated.
The support for domestic violence awareness should be much more. We can all say we've known someone who has experienced domestic violence whether emotional, physical, or mental. This is not some event that takes place once in a blue moon. It takes place every day, every hour, even every minute. So why are we not knocking door to door, or posting about domestic violence? Why are we acting like this is some silent cause? It's a real problem that affects real people and causes real hurt. Silence will only hurt those in need. Be their voice when they don't have one. Be the change that brings domestic violence out of the conversational graveyard. Kill the taboo, don't be a part of it. Be that strong person who will say enough is enough. Become motivated.
