Through my life, I have always had trouble finding out who I am. I have never been sure of myself or any of my actions, and I have even gone to extremes such as dying my hair unnatural colors, and then proceeding to chop it all off to a boyish hair cut. My sudden outbursts of trying to be individual, and my own person, was caused by a seed of depression and anxiety.

My sophomore and junior year of high school were the toughest time of my life. I never had any self-love, or self-acceptance. From many admissions into the hospital to having to see three different therapists 4 times each per week, it put even more strain on me. Junior year, being the year of “grades that colleges look at”, piled on more stress to the already leaning tower that was about to tip over. Self-acceptance was not something that came to me overnight. I spent many hours in therapy, and in the hospital, which gave me countless hours to dwell over why I was there. At some point, I’m not sure when it exactly was, I became okay with myself. I began to change everything. If I did not like myself, then I had to change something.

I realized I was surrounding myself with people who did not want the best for me and did not have a positive lifestyle. I dropped all of the negative energy out of my life and brought in a limited amount of very positive energy. I even changed everything in my room. The walls that saw my restless nights, and panic attacks, was now blinded by the new paint that I splattered onto the walls.

My life made a 360-degree turn from never thinking I would make it to the day to go to college, to now filling out college applications. I am beyond grateful for the support system I have had with me throughout the hardest time of my life. There will never be enough words to explain how thankful I am. I am very proud of the person that I have become and will continue to form into.

My life is just now starting as I fill out applications for colleges, and get ready to begin my journey into adulthood. A couple years ago, I’d tell myself that I was strong enough to make it to see tomorrow...and I was and still am. I have grown as a person tremendously. The negative energy that negative people gave off is now all out of my life. For a long time I was lost, but at some point, I found a new and improved version of myself.

I have overcome obstacles that I never thought I would have to deal with. Life throws some crazy stuff at you sometimes, but just keep on going and fill the days with positive vibes from good people.