Never did I think that I was going to be the one who struggled through anxiety and depression. Never did I think that going to college was going to be a mental nightmare at certain points. And never did I realize that I was going to be living in a mindset of constant chaos and stress yet still hide it behind a smile. To others that have been through this struggle, I feel your pain. But, as cheesy as it sounds it really does get better.

So, Hi! I am that girl that is always being the mom watching over everyone. I am always the girl that’s happy-go-lucky, trying to always be there for people in times that I probably shouldn’t. My reality or at least my interpretation of it, however, has not been quite as peachy. As I made others around me happy and settled, I would often go to bed with a twisted web of thoughts and the petrification of what was going to happen next. And this would continue and continue. My whole life, I’ve just let people walk over me, and steal my happiness. I’ve been fully positive and prepared to go into situations just to have it yanked out from under me the second after I felt stable. Now in my senior year of college, though, I realize it’s time to put that to an end.

One of my professors once sent me a quote, saying “Let your smile change the world, but never let the world change your smile.” This has stuck with me on the darkest days and the times in which I honestly don’t know where or who to turn to. I think we all need to remember this and remember that we can change the world if we just be positive. My hope to everyone around me is that they realize how much sending negative energy out into this world can cause harm to those around them. You may not realize how much of an impact that you are making on the lives around you and that matters. You matter and your words and your actions and your livelihood matter. Now, I know you may be thinking, especially if you’ve fought the battle of depression, that you can’t just be positive and flip the happiness switch, which leads me into my next point.

Mental health is important!! I cannot emphasize this enough. Just because your head doesn’t have a cast on it, doesn’t mean that it can’t feel just as broken as your leg. That is how I consider depression, anxiety, and many other forms of mental illness. Do not be afraid or scared to let people know that you have something like this going on, because you would be extremely surprised about all the individuals living with the same battle each and every day. The battle is tough; the sleepless nights, the strikes against food, the daily crying sessions, the heaviness of your body, and the never-ending gazes at the wall. The important part that we all must remind ourselves is at some point it will pass. Something will happen whether it be the support of family, a mental revolution, or just some good ol’ medication, you will get through it. Personally, mine was through support and medication (after trial and error of course), and that is how you make it through. A day at a time, an hour at a time, a minute at a time. Never be ashamed of who you are and never be ashamed of who you are going to be. You were put here to make a difference in others’ lives and whether you know it or not, that is exactly what you are doing.

I strive for everyone to realize that we must work together. We have to look out for each other and for each other’s mental wellness. We are not only physical beings, so why is it that we never think about our emotions or spirituality or inner problems? Why is it that we have no problem going to the doctor if we’re sick but are petrified to go and talk to someone about your thoughts? Don’t be afraid anymore, it all works out and typically it all works out for the better. Don’t live your days feeling as if your drowning, because it does not have to be that way. You are here, you can do it, and most importantly you are worth it.