Does PTSD After Divorce Exist?

Does PTSD After Divorce Exist?

PTSD Post Divorce
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Divorce will bring about traumatic events that leave us scarred in the same way as a person who has survived combat. In fact, most divorces share similar types of combat, war, and traumatic events and end up the same way… with a loss.

Symptoms are classified into three broad categories. As you look at these, think about how they may relate to the trauma of a long-term, emotionally abusive relationship or terrible, lengthy divorce:

  1. Re-experiencing symptoms
  2. Avoidance symptoms
  3. Hyper-arousal symptoms

Within these categories are:

  • Flashbacks
  • Nightmares
  • Feelings of guilt
  • Depression
  • Emotional numbness
  • Sleep difficulties
  • Sudden, emotional outbursts of crying or rage

In a true, textbook diagnosis of PTSD, these symptoms must last longer than one month, during which time you must have at least:

  • One re-experiencing symptom
  • three avoidance symptoms
  • two hyper-arousal symptoms

Treatments for PTSD include:

  • Psychotherapy
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Medication

Experts believe that break-ups are taking a worrying toll on our health with symptoms such as panic attacks, insomnia and many psychosomatic health problems and are calling this condition "divorce stress syndrome".

Michigan State University has recently published research findings from a 15 year study which reveals that those who divorce experience a more rapid decline in their health than those who remain married. Other studies suggest that men suffer more long-term health problem if they do not remarry, whilst women are inclined to suffer more seriously in the short-term.

Experts say that it is important for women to accept that they may go through a difficult transitional stage. Some feel that newly-divorced people go through the same stages of readjustment as those who are coming to terms with bereavement. Feelings of denial, depression, anger and acceptance are common but it is important to seek help if the feelings become overwhelming.

The worries which bombard people who are faced with life without their partner vary dependent on the age of the individual. For those with young children their concerns often center on raising their family alone along with natural feelings of rejection and failure. For older people it can be the prospect of growing old on their own and feelings of resentment having given the ‘best years of their lives’. Financial worries tend to fill the minds of most people facing life without their partner, especially those with young children.

It would appear that in America the attitude towards the stress suffered through divorce seems to be one of far better understanding and acceptance. High-conflict divorce is seen to be so stressful that it has been reclassified as one of the causes of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Women are twice as likely to suffer from PTSD under this circumstance having symptoms which include flashbacks, heightened anxiety, insomnia and psychosomatic illness.

In summary, what may seem like lack of effort, in reality may be a disguise for the reactions associated with PTSD. The good news is that a problem like that can be successfully navigated through. If you believe yourself to be dating a very good person who would be very compatible with you then have a heart to heart about what you are struggling with and what you think he or she may be struggling with. Instead of pointing fingers at each other, you can recognize the discord for what it really is… a reaction to trauma. If you then can commit to the willingness to stay with the relationship then you will find yourself getting to the other side of trauma… communication can become what you hoped it would be, you can sustain a closeness, and eventually have that relationship you had longed for.

Cover Image Credit: guyvorce.com

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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My Love-Hate Relationship with Starbucks

This is my oh so wonderful experience at Starbucks during the week of midterms.

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When I usually go to Starbucks, I typically get the same type of drinks: carmel macchiato, chai tea latte, chestnut praline chai tea latte (which sadly is only a holiday drink), or a shaken black tea lemonade with light ice. However, sometimes a person just gets bored drinking the same three drinks over and over, so I thought, "Hey! lets get out of our comfort zone here pal and try something new." So I did I walked my tired stressed out self to Starbucks 10 minutes before my next class and ordered a tall cinnamon shortbread latte, I mean the description and other peoples comments about it made it sound super good.


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As I was waiting for my drink I noticed that one of the baristas was having some issues with some type of syrup, but I thought that they would refill it and then add what they need, and that one probably wasn't even mine. When they did that, I saw them get a new jug of syrup and I went back onto my phone and to try and plan how I was going to get through this midterms week.

Quick info about midterms: everyone is dead, and everyone is stressed. Us college students literally live off of caffeine during midterms week. If you're lucky like me you are at school from 8 a.m. until 6 p.m., so the caffeine is really needed.


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Now soon after I saw the new jug come, my name was called. I grabbed my drink and walked like the walking zombie I was to my next class. I went in for my first drink I was so excited to have this sweet taste of vanilla, cinnamon and coffee...but what I got was the opposite. It literally tasted like a very burnt somewhat coffee and cinnamon edible without the marijuana affects, or for the non-edible people, a very bad tasting cookie that was missing all the sugar. I was not a happy camper one bit, but I was going to drink it anyway because I payed $4 for this coffee. I struggled drinking this during my writing class because it tasted terrible, but then out of no where I got this hit of sweet — I was drinking the sweet vanilla and the sweet cinnamon part of my drink minus the majority of the coffee since I was 3/4 done with the drink. I was seriously crying on the inside because I didn't get to enjoy this drink the way I needed.


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Then the realization hit me: 1. They probably didn't add in the missing parts of the syrup once it got refilled since they suddenly got busy. 2. They did not stir that drink one bit because all the syrup was literally at the bottom of the cup. If they did these, then the problem wouldn't have happened.

This is not the first time this has happened to me having all the syrup at the bottom of the cup at a Starbucks. Its not like I am able to swish it around myself because it is full to the top and I don't want hot coffee poured or splashed on my hand. Also, most people are on-the-go while they are drinking their coffee or doing other things. I have only had this issue at Starbucks and never at any other place have I had this issue like Anthem Coffee.


So can Starbucks just agree to always mix their drinks? So that the zombie college kids during midterms have good coffee to keep them alive?


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