I am IRRITATED with my family right now.
Well, really just with my brother.
I was being a good sister, having a pleasant conversation with my brother who I haven't seen in almost 3 months, when I was sent this atrocity:
The fact these words came out of my own brother's mouth... How???
Thanksgiving dinner is a beautiful thing. There's literally something for everyone. It's like the department store of holidays – maybe that's why Macy's sponsors the parade? Ugh, bad joke. Never mind.
Anyway, you get a week off from school to EAT FOOD, and be thankful for it!
More importantly, it's the one tradition in America that we all can come together for.
But back to the food....
I was so appalled by my brother's statement, and that people out there agree with him, that I decided to take the meal step by step, calorie portion by calorie portion (lol yeah right), to prove to all of you that Thanksgiving dinner is the best.
Appetizers:
Bread - Because it's bread?
Soup - It warms up your stomach, and makes you feel cozy and healthy and reminds you that you’re home.
Salad - To trick yourself that you are eating healthy.
Wine - Treat this glass as a cheers to the evening, for being thankful for the people around you, and the food.
Main course:
Turkey - It’s simply un-American to not eat turkey on Thanksgiving. Do NOT be that person.
Stuffing - Delicious carbs in a bowl. I’m not even quite sure what it is exactly, but it’s good. Plus, it has celery in it, so obviously, it will make me skinny.
Cranberries - Not always my top choice, but it's colorful and sweet. Also, my school's color/ mascot/I'm not really sure honestly, is the cranberry, so I feel obligated to eat it with some college pride. We hold the Guinness World Record for the longest string of fruit (cranberries) – I know, riveting – but yeah, I have to eat, like, one. #gobroncs
Mashed Potatoes - A classic. You can put whatever seasonings, dressings, and/or cheeses in it, and it still tastes great. Almost anything is mixable with mashed potatoes – They live in a world where everything is accepted. How beautiful.
Gravy - Technically a dressing, but it truly lives on a level of its own. It goes with almost everything on my plate, and makes it that much better. Gravy just makes the meal brighter, like we should all try to do in our lives – what an inspiration.
Carrots - COOKED CARROTS ARE MY SH*T. Don’t try to debate this one with me.
Wine - This glass is an elegant dinner wine. Who cares if it’s your third, or fourth glass – You are the definition of class.
Dessert:
Apple Pie - Again, an American staple. In times like these, we need to come together as a country: Don’t. Be. That. Guy.
Blueberry Pie - It’s really pretty and sugary and full of goodness, and healthy fruit.
Pumpkin Pie - The millennial's version of the American staple, I guess. It’s still really good though.
Cannoli's - For celebrating my 25 percent Italian heritage. Grateful.
Cake - Because my birthday is a week after Thanksgiving. Thanks fam.
Ice Cream - You need it for the pies, and cake, lol duh? It's like PB&J, except I'm allergic to peanuts, so not that.
Cookies - Because at this point, who even cares, just eat it.
Coffee - To save you from the approaching food coma.
Wine - This glass (or three) is for thinking about all the food you just ate. But remember, it doesn’t matter, this is what this day is for.
I plan on eating every item, and then hitting the gym for a few hours the next day. I hope you do too: You don’t even have to go to the gym, just enjoy the time with your family… which is probably what I’ll say to myself the next day anyway.
So there. Thanksgiving has something for everyone, and the great part is, you can basically add anything to the meal and have it be accepted.
Don't hate on the dinner, please.
Eat it all, and cherish the day, and the people around you.
Happy Thanksgiving.
