I was 15 years old at the time, and a good friend of mine had called me lucky for my mom did not abandon me like hers did, but had passed away instead. She talked about "the choice" and how important that was to her.
Until this day, I cannot believe those words escaped her mouth. I do not blame her teenage thoughts, and do not judge her as such. It is what society had taught her, really, that we are selfish. We do not listen, but we want to be heard. We compare our problems more than we do our successes. One day, we will have no one to listen to us.
Whether at school, an office, or 5 a.m. conversations of baristas behind the Starbucks counter—we all suffer from sleep deprivation sometimes.
"Ah, I couldn't sleep until 1 a.m. last night."
There's a common phrase we hear often. While the numerical aspect of it may change, the rest of it is similar. However, what follows is even more common.
"Tell me about it. I only got two hours of sleep."
We have an incessant need to compare our hardships with others. While it is true that some stressors may be more debilitating, one cannot undermine the stress of another individual. We all handle stressors differently.
What may be a minor issue or a joke to you may be a reason someone is losing sleep. Problems, after all, cannot be measured. It is relative. To dismiss people's feelings, stressors, or emotions is to make them feel incompetent or childish.
Why is it that we are ready to sympathize with a 10-year-old who lost their best friend while we ask each other (adults) to get over it? It's all relative. We do emotionally mature as we grow older, but we all experience life differently. Some of us may be less sheltered to life's realities, while others more—we cannot expect everyone to react the way we do.
When opening up, it is important that our issues are not viewed as a competition. When people speak up, they want to feel acknowledged and supported. Comparing your problems with others' can be soul-crushing. When compared, people feel as if their problems aren’t important, that no one cares. More often than not, people just need someone to speak to. It is true that people rarely ever have it all. Someone may have all the money in the world; however, they may come from an unhealthy or unhappy family.
It is important that we understand and listen to each. After all, we want to be heard. Relationships are always give and take. It is important to be heard, but if we keep this up, we will all stop listening. And we'll have no one to talk to.
