I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T: do you know what that means? Early 2000s rap songs aside, I’ve been slowly discovering what it means to truly be independent. Sure, I live out of my parents’ house and work two jobs now, but I still rely on them to pay my college tuition and provide the clothes I wear. I’m not totally independent, but I am no longer fully dependent on my parents or other people in my life. There have been a few pivotal moments in my life in which I accepted my independence and finally twirled the concept between my fingertips.

The first time I ever felt independent was when I made the decision to report some girls at my school who were bullying me. I was miserable for months because of them. I refused to eat at school, I sat alone at recess, and I came home every day and cried myself to sleep. One day before Easter, I had enough of being sad and alone. I realized that I could do something about the situation because I had proof of the things that they did to me, and I finally did. The next week, I was removed from their class, and my eleven-year-old self was happy for the first time in eight months.

I was 12 when I made the decision to become confirmed in the church. I made a promise to keep God in my life, and I affirmed my faith in God in front of everyone in my church. My parents raised me well, and while they wanted me to be confirmed, the decision was ultimately up to me. As an adult, it can be difficult to make room for God among the chaos of the daily routine, but just like everything else in life, balance is the key. To this day, I decide to go to church and maintain an everyday lifestyle that God would be proud of me leading.

I broke up with my boyfriend who I had been dating for close to three years my junior year of high school. Honestly, we thought, at one point, that we would get married. He loved me, and I loved him, but people change, and there is nothing anyone else can do to stop them. I realized that we had both changed so much, and we couldn’t continue to say that we loved each other if we didn’t really mean it. I don’t love him anymore; though, you never forget your first love, and I will never forget the value of asserting my independence.

Today, I think of myself as a strong and independent young woman who is unafraid of the future. I have amazing friends who accept and love me, just as I accept and love myself for who I am. I stand at the start of the rest of my life, and while the unknown scares me, I have people in my life who will guide me to have the life I want and be the woman that I want to be.

To everyone out there, assert your independence, and be strong. You will find that you are more powerful than you think when you harness the strength inside of you. It may seem daunting to face the fear of standing up for yourself, especially if it means you standing alone, but I know that you can. Whether you want to break from a toxic relationship, push away bad influences, or finally take control of your life, your happiness and independence is worth more than other people’s. We all have the power to be strong, so why not let yourself see what you’re capable of? This is your life; you be the owner of it.

Celebrate Independence Day with fireworks and patriotic decorations and barbecue food, but also celebrate Independence Day by promising yourself the freedom to make your own decisions and live your own life. Happy Independence Day, everyone.