I was unhappy. For years. I consistently asked myself, why do I feel like this? What's stopping me from feeling happiness? Now I understand.
There was a huge road block in my way. I couldn't dig under it or climb over it. I was stuck on the other side and there was nothing I could do about it...or so I thought.
After years of searching and all efforts failing, I came to a realization. The only thing standing in my way is me. I am the source of my own misery. And I am the only person who can transform my negativity into positivity.
How, you might ask? Well, once I realized that happiness was in fact attainable, I did not go searching for it. Instead, I let it come to me. I opened my mind and heart to allow room for it to enter. Eventually, happiness found me.
It wasn't easy. In fact, it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I worked for it every day and never gave up hope that things would turn around for me and the world would become my oyster. My family have and always will be my biggest supporters and I am eternally grateful.
The biggest and most influential factor that brought me to the place I am today is not a person or a piece of advice I received. It was something I did all on my own. I convinced my brain to stop allowing me to judge myself. I reminded myself every day that I am who I am because it's who I want to be and no one can tell me otherwise. The only approval I need is my own. Worrying what other people think is only going to hurt me in the end. If someone doesn't like me or thinks some of the things I do or say are weird, I don't care. I decided to stop caring what people think about me and it has proven to be the greatest decision I have ever made.
Sometimes I find myself thinking, Did I say something embarrassing? Are they looking at me? Why am I so different?
In the past, these thoughts controlled my feelings and my life. Now, I catch myself every time and remind myself that it doesn't matter what they're thinking. It does not and will not affect me in any way so why bother sweating it?
You are you and I am me. Never change who you are to meet the demands of anyone other than yourself because at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with it. I love myself. Some may agree, some may not, but the only thing that matters when I lay my head to rest each night is the pounding in my chest telling me that I am enough.
