"If you could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?"

Going to a Christian university means you often get asked a list of deep questions, usually in the form of ice breakers. The one above is my least favorite question, especially if it is followed up with "...and what would you ask them?"

Don't get me wrong -- there are a lot of important people that I find interesting in the world. However, I have never quite felt a captivated connection to any one person to sit and talk with. So I often have a hard time formulating an answer. Recently this question was posed to me, but for the first time ever, I had an immediate answer. If I could have dinner with anyone, it would be Genevieve Gutierrez. You may not know her very well, if at all, so allow me to introduce you two.

There are people that are just simply magnetic. Everyone else just can't help but gravitate towards these people. Genevieve Gutierrez was this way. She had a personality that lit up any room she walked into, with a beautiful smile to match. I think it was because she deeply cared for somebody the instant she met them. She would listen carefully as they talked, hanging on to each word they spoke. Then she would begin the fantastic tales of her own life. My first question to her would be: how did you find it in your heart to care for so many people?

Genevieve had a very whimsical spirit. She was playful and loved joking with people. By the amount of singing she did, one would probably think her life was a musical. She could burst into song at the drop of a hat. I would imagine that at dinner we would reminisce about all our Disneyland trips and how we would skip through the park like two 5 year olds. Then she would probably start singing a Disney tune, and inevitably I would join in. I would ask, how can you possibly remember so many lyrics to so many songs?

Here is where the atmosphere would calm and I would ask a serious question. Genevieve, how on earth are you such a strong woman? Gen suffered from epilepsy for four years. Her seizures would come unannounced, and often happened multiple days in a row. This caused her to lose her license and miss a lot of school. She worked hard to go through community college just to be able to transfer to a four year university. Despite all this, I often forgot she was sick. Why? Because Genevieve never lived like a sick person. She was positive and even a little rebellious. She lived life to the fullest, even if that meant sneaking one more tattoo because she felt like it.

I would love to know her secret, the secret to believing that despite hardship, life is beautiful.

The irony of my choosing Genevieve to be the person I would want to spend a dinner with is that the last time I saw her, we actually were at my graduation dinner. I hugged her goodbye like always and went home, beaming over all the plans we had made. In two days we were to have a sleep over and seriously discuss which Disneyland pass she should buy. Gen meant to renew this within the next month. Then we were going to look at house decor because Genevieve had just applied to transfer to Azusa Pacific University and obviously we were going to share an apartment. We were going to be the ultimate roommates. Maybe we would inspire a new reality show -- "Amy and Gigi Take The Inland Empire."

Little did I know that none of these plans would come to be. On May 26, 2014, Genevieve Gutierrez had a seizure in her sleep and passed away. Less than 10 hours from the time I hugged my beautiful cousin, she was gone from my life.

I would choose her as my dinner guest so that I could hug her one last time, and this time I would mean it. I would tell her how much I love her and explain the impact she has had on my life. I would ask what she had left on her bucket list so that I can complete it for her. I want to pitch her my idea for a nose piercing and tattoo in honor of her, and I want to sit back and listen to her lecture me on how I shouldn’t get either, even though she has them herself. I wonder if she would have anything important to tell me, maybe some last words of wisdom? Most of all, I would have Genevieve as my dinner guest so that I would know exactly the time she would leave. I would be prepared this time. I could say goodbye, and maybe my heart wouldn’t ache so badly anymore.

Genevieve would grab her purse and open the door. "Wait!" I would call after her. "I have one more question!"

She would turn around, eyebrow raised expectantly.

"Am I your favorite cousin?"

Gen would smile and pretend to think. Then as the playfully sassy sister she was to me, she would reply, “Well, you’re definitely the brattiest.” And I would grin ear to ear as she turned to leave, happy that I was able to spend one last moment with the most impactful person I know.

If you would like to learn more about epilepsy and the fight to cure it, click here. Gen's Dare 2 Dream 2 Team is taking open enrollment for the Walk To End Epilepsy in November.