"Emotional reciprocity, love and belonging are essential human needs. If these needs are not being met, and the reason is not understood, then mental health and physical health may be affected."- Maxine Aston
Depression doesn't have a face. It doesn't have a race, a color, a mannerism, a "look." In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, approximately 3 million individuals are afflicted by a disease which we regard as depression. With the prevalence of social media platforms, the notion that mental health awareness is a tremendously consequential issue has been made very evident by the increasing number of suicides committed by family, friends, and even prominent celebrities such as Chester Bennington [Linkin Park] or Robin Williams (who would appear to have "the perfect life" and the world before them, thus making their suicide appear paradoxical). The United States is #38 (out of 177) in a compiled list of countries with the highest suicide rates in the world.
As a veteran who spent many years in the military, one of the most profound memories I can recollect occurred within my first week of active duty technical school. It was discovered that a young man who lived in our barracks committed suicide by hanging himself with a bed sheet. He was 19 years old. To this day, that memory still resonates with me, and I thought to myself at the time, "how unfortunate...so young, just graduating from boot camp, some a huge accomplishment just completed and a promising military career ahead, only to end in tragedy weeks after graduation." And the situation was only exasperated by the notion that not a single person was aware that his thoughts were suicidal. Leaders, peers, fellow students who saw him every day, and he never gave anyone any indication that his depression had consumed him or that he was even depressed at all. "How could we not see the signs?" we all asked ourselves. Because there were none.
Suicides are at a crisis level in the military with a staggering average of 30 military personnel per 100,000 committing suicide annually, more than double compared to their civilian counterparts, whose national average is less than half at approximately 13 people per 100,000. A significant portion of those suicides are committed by veterans, some who have witnessed tragic elements and fatalities of brothers and sisters (metaphorically speaking for the camaraderie of service members), to the unspeakable truth about the casualties of bloodshed in war.
Difficulties adapting to civilian life, in a transition from years of military service, may also fuel a catalyst for a sense of purposeless existence. Years of bloodshed, a diminished life purpose, and/ or the misfortune of tragedies seen by human eyes ( that can never be unseen in the mind) may contribute to that which is known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD is a condition which becomes very prevalent in service members and may compel suicidal thoughts in staggering numbers if the PTSD becomes inundating from the stress of post-war/military life.
During my time in service, I had the honor of being introduced to a young man named Miguel Sierra, a (now) retired Army veteran and founder of ABSolute Life (a community dedicated to the service of self-respect, suicide intervention, compassion, and self-care just to name a few aspects). Sierra served as a [Behavioral Health Clinic] Non-Commissioned Officer-In-Charge, Suicide Prevention Coordinator, Drug and Alcohol Counselor, as well as an array of many credit titles to his name. His passion and enthusiastic commitment to motivate soldiers with decision making, adversity, and fearlessness to conquer every new day has inspired hope in many soldiers, generations young and old, while the altruism of his work has resonated in the hearts and lives of many. When I asked him what inspires him to do what he does, he responded:
"When I retired, I felt lost and without purpose, which sent my depression on a nosedive. I figured out that all the work I was doing with the troops actually applied to society in general, so I took all the things I was good at, along with my unique approach to each topic and created the brand [ABSolute Life]. What inspires me? My pain. When you go through pain, you understand the value of interpersonal connections, someone who will help you without judging, someone who isn't going to bull$hit you or do things with hidden motives. I love when I help someone find the strength to go seek help...or help them find a lesson in adverse situations..."
"When I get those calls saying "thank you," that humbles me..."
"And my kids, I live life with passion and I want to be their guide/example of what LIVING life looks like, not just breathing. I want them to value humanity more than money."
My friend, you serve as a beacon of inspiration to many, including myself. Thank you for the difference you make in this world. And for those who have ever felt your sense of purpose was lost in the shuffle of a world succumb to adversity, never lose hope for a better day ahead. For the light of hope you seek, you may find within yourself.
"Depression isn't always a crushing weight or a hand around the throat. I think it's important to remember that. For some, it's little more than a slight morning fog, concealing just enough light to spoil the joy; never a sadness sever enough to shatter the spirit, but one that saps slowly each day in your heart until all of life is a cheerless shadow of itself. To these souls, be a wind, a a parting of curtains, a reminder that just beyond those deep rolling clouds, there is still light, there always is." -Beau Taplin
