Overcoming Loneliness Or Depression Requires Help, It's Worth Reaching Out

Overcoming Loneliness Or Depression Requires Help, It's Worth Reaching Out

"You are not your illness." - Julian Seifre

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Loneliness is something everyone in this world has probably felt at some point in their lives. You might sulk and internally whine, or make a sad post to social media, boldly letting the world know that you feel alone or sad of some sort. There are still some days that you just can't shake no matter how bright the sun is. Loneliness in itself is something that anyone can feel u don't have to be single or in isolation. You can feel loneliness even if you're taken, married, or in a crowded room.

Sometimes even when you tell people about the loneliness and they try and help and the thought of them trying to cheer you up is nice for a second, but deep down you still think that you are alone and that no one cares.

I think, in a way, loneliness ties in with depression. A person will become lonely for too long and start to feel the overwhelming sadness and start to develop depressive traits. I remember reading this post on Facebook about how depression can come in subtle forms like a messy room, unwashed dishes, laying in bed 24/7, not showering, skipping meals, and canceling plans, then the post proceeded to explain how they had walked into their brothers room and moaned at the state of it and the brother said he was depressed and they assumed it was an excuse - until three days later they were pulling his body out of a river. It's posts like that that make the world think "hmmm I'm depressed or someone I know is" because, let's be honest, everyone has probably had a messy room and you look back and think to yourself maybe you were going through something during that time.

I mean depression and loneliness can be situational. I feel like some people in today's society feel like some mental illness is all or nothing type ordeal. You can feel depressed for 2 weeks and then get better or you can have depression for months and still be on the route towards improvement. I believe there is a reason for everything and people are lonely or depressed for a reason.

I understand there are some things that are hard to heal from and sometimes healing takes time but establishing why you feel the way you feel is probably a step toward improving your emotional state. Talking to someone will also help so you don't have to keep your emotions bottled up inside. Even if you feel there is no one to talk to, there is always someone. God is always a viable option when it comes to needing to talk, I assure you he is definitely hearing you out.

Maybe depression is a choice, a cry for attention, and maybe people are depressed because it is easier to be sad than to stay happy and very satisfied with how your life is going or will go.

I just think that even though a person is sad or going through emotional turmoil right now doesn't mean they always will be. The future is the future for a reason, do with it what you will, and maybe try new things you have never tried before. Find an inspiration to live, and if that inspiration fades away, then find something another one. There is too much to do and so much to see and letting temporary thoughts and feelings drag you down isn't the way to go.

Also, happiness isn't just in people, but happiness can be in things and moments too. I understand everyone can't just brush things off but it's good to let things go so you can continue to better your life for yourself. Yet again, there is always someone to talk to or someone that can help you, and if you choose not to get help you are only hurting yourself.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black-and-white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Goodbye To The Boy Who Sexually Assaulted Me, You Can Never Hurt Me Again

In 30 minutes you turned my life around.

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*Content Warning: Sexual Assault*

You destroyed me.

You took away my innocence.

You were able to take away my dreams and aspirations.

You were able to shut me down in ways I didn't know to be possible.

In 30 minutes you turned my life around.

Broken trust, that is what you left me with. A broken sense of stability and love. Sometimes I sit and wonder why you thought it was okay to take advantage of me? Why it was okay to hit, and belittle me? You had me left feeling foreign to my own body.

But then I realize it is not my fault, it is yours. This is not a cry for help or an avenue to get attention this is me raising awareness that not only did you hurt me but others are experiencing the same thing you put me through.

My innocence was taken by you without consent. I sat in my room for hours after that night thinking of ways to end the life I was given. I spent countless nights waking up screaming with tears rushing down my face. I spent the majority of my future relationships scared of ever letting myself feel again. I was forced to take avenues of help like therapy appointments and trying different depression medicines. All of this resulted from the 30 minutes you could not control yourself.

Yes, you destroyed me. But now I'm stronger than ever, you will never be able to hurt me again.

With all of the pain and endless nights of contemplating my reason to live, I found strength, I found a way to share my voice and help others experiencing this pain. I am stronger now than I ever thought possible.

I wake up every day now appreciating the things in life that matter most to me, like the love my boyfriend has for me, the amazing family I am blessed with, and the amazing friends that helped me through this experience. I have learned that fighting for my life was worth it and I was not going to let you take that away from me.

I will not stop sharing my story, I have learned that sharing my experiences of sexual assault has let others feel less alone in the scary process that you, unfortunately, put me through. What you did to me was not okay. But through this, I have understood and realized my worth in this crazy rollercoaster we call life.

I found strength in the moments you made me the weakest, and I'm no longer looking back.

I have hope that other survivors will understand that their life is just as valuable. There is a bigger fight for happiness and finding it is not always the easiest but the journey getting there is worth it.

You ARE strong.

You ARE worth it.

It's NOT your fault.

You're NOT alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

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