Too many people in this day and age believe that mental illnesses are just an excuse for those who are weak, for those who want to be a victim, and for those who don't know how to handle emotions. Some people argue that those who are "mentally ill," experience emotions that everyone else experiences, as everyone goes through periods of being depressed, anxious, angry, and extremely happy. Those who claim that they are "mentally ill" are just looking for a glorified way of attaining attention, and don't know how to be "strong" when little bumps come in the road.

Are you kidding me? Depression isn't some "made up" illness for those who are too "weak," or are attention seeking. No one with depression wants to talk about it because we hate it just as much as you hate hearing about it. Do people honestly believe we want to be known as depressed? Do people think that we like to wake up feeling numb, hopeless, and feeling like there is no point to our lives anymore? I would love to wake up one morning and hear on the news, "Hey, depression isn't real, and your brain is just playing tricks on you. Be happy." But I won't. No one with depression will ever hear that because depression is real, it hurts, and it affects over half of the population.

I think the problem is that those who don't believe in depression, or mental illness in general, have no idea what those of us who have it go through every single day. They feel sad and believe that is how we feel when we finally fall down into the pits of our depression. However, depression isn't just being sad--it is so much more than that.

Depression hits us when we least expect it to. There is nothing we can do to stop it, no matter how hard we try to. We can't control it when it comes, and we can't just think positively to make it go away. Depression isn't a state of mind--it's a problem within our minds. We could be smiling and laughing at a joke our friend just made at a party, and then all of the sudden it hits--nothing triggered it, we weren't alone, but still we fall slowly into our deep, dark, black holes.

Some of us get so used to our depression cycles that we can almost predict when we are going to experience an episode--and I promise there is no stopping it as I have tried numerous times. The black clouds just begin to form above our heads, slowly engulfing every single thought and emotion we have.

Depression is becoming numb to every single stimuli around you. It's the feeling that would describe watching paint on the wall. You lay in bed and try to convince yourself to get out of bed because you know you shouldn't stay there forever. However, the covers are so comfy, and your bed is the only thing that can understand what is running through your mind at the moment. Staring at your wall is the only thing you become able to do for hours and hours. You beg for your eyes to close as sleep is the only thing that takes you away from this numbing pain, but you don't even have the effort to do so. So you sit, up all night, with your thoughts running through your mind as you stare at the wall.

Depression makes you want to scream for help, but you can't force your mouth to move because you're so numb. So, you put on your fake smile and go through the motions of your day the best you can. You want others to know you are suffering, but you don't want to burden anyone so you keep the pain close to your heart as it engulfs you. So don't you ever say depressed people are striving for attention because we never want anyone to be hurt because of the way we are suffering.

Your depression follows you like a cloud as you go through the motions of your day. As you get dressed, try to eat some breakfast, go to work or school, and come home to spend time with those who love you, depression is always hanging over you. Every single second takes all the energy in the world as you battle a war inside your mind to push away the depression hanging above you. Did someone compliment you today? Be sure your depression told you it was a lie. Did you get a promotion at work? You best believe your depression makes sure you know you don't deserve it. No one loves you and the world would totally be better off without you, according to your depression.

With depression you feel like two separate people, and the real you, the happy you, is slowly slipping away. You hide under your covers as the tears begin to form as you don't have the energy anymore to keep the depression at bay. The darkness consumes you and you can't stop the tears from falling, as thoughts of how no one loves you, how you'd be better off dead, and how pathetic you are consumes you. You cry, and soon your chest hurts and you can't breathe as the tears roll down your face. You tell God that you just can't do this anymore, and pray for the numbness to return--for sleep to come. But it doesn't and you cry for hours until you pass out from exhaustion, and then you wake up the next morning, put your mask on to make sure others think everything is okay, and do it all over again.

The worst feeling is when you can feel the tears coming in front of your friends, or loved ones, once this battle continues for weeks, and your energy supply has finally run low. You have to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and attempt to pull yourself together as crying isn't normal to do in public--especially for no reason. You would give anything for this to stop. To stop feeling lonely and like no one even cares. You pray to be happy again--to see the sun one more time.

You try to listen to music, to exercise, to think positively, to go to therapy, to take medicine, and some of it seems to work, but the depression is strong. A moment of light may come but darkness always pursues. So don't you ever say we don't try when we are depressed. We desperately want to be happy just like you want us to. We don't want to be depressed, and I can't tell you how much I don't want it to be true.

But don't you dare ever tell me that depression doesn't exist, if you haven't lied on the bathroom floor crying for help. Don't you dare tell me that I am just "sad" when the only way I feel free is when I picture myself jumping off the ledge. Don't you ever tell me that I am seeking attention as I push every single person that loves me away with my rage and irritation to prevent them from getting hurt. Don't you dare tell me that I am making myself sad as I confine my depression in you. Don't you dare say you know what I am going through because you were sad once when your dog passed away. You don't get it unless you've been there. You don't understand until you've loved someone who has suffered. There is no magic pill, there is no cure--depression is an illness that is worth fighting for.

For those of you who don't believe, please keep it to yourself. You don't have to fight a constant battle in your head every day. You don't have to deal with the demons we have to deal with, so please don't you tell anyone with depression that there is no such thing. You probably don't even know anyone who actually has depression as we tend to shut everyone out. We are locked inside our own brains, so unless you want to help free us then please stay out.

Depression is real and it is scary. It is hard to watch someone you love suffer, but making it appear as nothing does not help. We are hurting, we are suffering, but we are also trying every single day. Don't you ever tell me about my battles unless you walk in my shoes. Depression is a mental illness, and like all illness it should be taken seriously, not just brushed under the rug. So, to all of you who believe we like attention and don't know how to handle our emotions, please look to those you love--because trust me, one of them is hiding behind the same mask we do.

Too many people this day and age believe that mental illnesses is just an excuse for those who are weak, for those who want to be a victim, and for those whose who don't know how to handle emotions. This, my friends, is bullcrap. For anyone who is suffering, has suffered, or loves someone suffering from depression, we need to stand up against these beliefs. Depression is real, it hurts, and it kills those we love the most.