Mother’s Day. The one day a year when everyone comes together to celebrate the woman in their lives.
Growing up, my dad would always bring my brother and me to the Hallmark store to pick out a plethora of cards, ranging from sweet and sappy to downright hilarious. Filling out the cards, I fervently tried to make my handwriting as neat as possible (quite the feat for a first grader at the time) because I wanted nothing short of the best for my mom on her day. Despite being an early riser, every Mother’s Day my mom would pretend to sleep in so we could bring her breakfast in bed, along with her morning coffee and newspaper.
Fast forward, and the current Mother’s Day looks starkly different from those early years. Wrestling around in my bed, sunbeams peek through the blinds of my dorm room window, beckoning me to consciousness. With sleep still heavily embedded in my eyelids, I open them and look at the clock. It’s 10 a.m., with the usual “good morning sweetie!” text from my mom. Despite it being Sunday and Mother’s Day, my mom has probably been up for hours — nothing out of the ordinary. However, this was about the only similarity to past years.
Due to final exams, I couldn’t come home for her weekend. There was no breakfast in bed, no array of handwritten cards displayed on her nightstand, no good morning hugs and kisses and “I love you, Mommy!” Dialing her number, my mom and I speak briefly about our plans for the day: mine in the library, hers doing yard work.
Upon hanging up the phone and checking all of my social media apps, there’s an overarching theme to each newsfeed I read, and it’s somewhat upsetting. Every platform is flooded with friends’ pictures and sentimental posts about their mothers. Although I too, subscribed to this trap, it became more clear to me how diminished today’s Mother's Day have become from the simple days of my childhood.
Later, I overheard someone say “Today’s a great day to post [a photo], especially with your mom, because you know it’s going to get you a lot of likes.” It was at this moment I realized how superficial such a special day had become. Everyone seemed to want to validate their affection for their moms with hundreds of arbitrary likes and comments, rather than showing how they felt. It’s indirectly become a ruthless competition: posting the best pictures, writing thoughtful captions, receiving the most likes.
This growing trend is something present in more than just Mother’s Day. Birthdays, holidays and major life achievements have become reduced to a corner of the Internet, screaming for attention. I can’t remember the last time I picked up the phone and called someone to wish them a happy birthday, since a quick photo collage on Facebook seemed to do the trick.
Don’t get me wrong, those posts still carry some meaning, as they deliver a great deal of instant gratification. In fact, there are many benefits to reap from the usage of social media. However, maintaining relationships is not one of them. In the long run, those digital memories will only be buried underneath an ever-growing collection of new status updates and photo memories.
Is that what we really want to reduce our closest relationships down to? A few thoughtful words in the form of a URL, in exchange for self-validation? With social media’s turbulent and expansive nature, the likelihood of this trend diminishing is very low.
It’s unrealistic that everyone will stop relying on internet platforms to convey their feelings towards someone from behind a screen. That being said, in addition to all of the posts and likes, it’s important to keep in sight what really matters: the fundamentals of our relationships with real people. Any amount of digital interaction means nothing if we can’t express how we feel right to our loved ones’ faces.
Although I most likely won’t be home to make my mom breakfast in bed for the next Mother’s Day or even her birthday, I can guarantee that I’ll be the first one to call, rather than being the first one to post.
