Breakups suck. Everyone copes with the loss of a loved one differently. But there's one phenomenon that happens pretty frequently that I really don't understand: Deleting the photos you've posted on social media with that person.
I've never done this. If this is a way for you to cope, I'm not knocking you for it! I just don't understand it because it's not something that I've ever felt compelled to do. If you were to go through my Instagram feed right now, you would see plenty of photos from past relationships. There's a definitive timeline for each one on my social media.
Here's the way I see it: Relationships come and go. Most of the time, being in a relationship is a conscious decision on the part of both people. When you were dating someone, there were obviously things that you liked about them. Maybe you liked their quirks, but you ended your relationship because they got to be too much. That's OK. That's happened to me.
No matter how bad the breakup, I've never deleted any memories from the relationship. I'm a huge proponent of the "silver linings" mindset. Yeah, a relationship might have been seriously unhealthy, but there was something to learn there.
In high school, I was in a really unhealthy relationship. When we broke up, it was a huge deal. We both made it impossible for others to ignore our breakup. Everyone knew that it had happened. A lot of other people that I knew would have immediately deleted their shared photos on social media, but I didn't. And neither did he. (There's not much that I respect about him, but I respect that.)
I learned a lot from that relationship and it changed me in ways that I won't get into here, but I never once regretted it. And maybe that's the difference. I never regretted the time I spent with him, so I never tried to erase it from the public eye. (One of my later boyfriends deleted the photos from my Instagram, but that's a completely separate thing.)
Again, if you're someone that deletes photos after a breakup, let me know what your reasoning is. I may very well be missing something really therapeutic and beneficial, but right now, I don't understand it. Right now, I'll keep my record of past relationships for all to see.
