Last week, Delaney Farrell, of Selinsgrove PA, passed away from an overdose on heroin. Her parents decided to shed some light on the life of heroin addicts by releasing a poem Delaney had written before she had passed. Here is the complete poem:

“Funny, I don’t remember no good dope days. I remember walking for miles in a dope fiend haze. I remember sleeping in houses that had no electric. I remember being called a junkie, but I couldn’t accept it. I remember hanging out in abandos that were empty and dark. I remember shooting up in the bathroom and falling out at the park. I remember nodding out in front of my sister's kid. I remember not remembering half of the things that I did. I remember the dope man’s time frame, just ten more minutes. I remember those days being so sick that I just wanted to end it. I remember the birthdays and holiday celebrations. All the things I missed during my incarceration. I remember overdosing on my bedroom floor. I remember my sisters cry and my dad having to break down the door. I remember the look on his face when I opened my eyes, thinking today was the day that his baby had died. I remember blaming myself when my mom decided to leave. I remember the guilt I felt in my chest making it hard to breathe. I remember caring so much but not knowing how to show it. and I know to this day that she probably don’t even know it. I remember feeling like I lost all hope. I remember giving up my body for the next bag of dope. I remember only causing pain, destruction, and harm. I remember the track marks the needles left on my arm. I remember watching the slow break up of my home. I remember thinking my family would be better off if I just left them alone. I remember looking in the mirror at my sickly completion. I remember not recognizing myself in my own Damn reflection. I remember constantly obsessing over my next score but what I remember most is getting down on my knees and asking God to save me cuz I don’t want to do this no more!!!“

Delaney's poem, although extremely hard to read, helps us to understand what addicts go through in their everyday lives. Addicts wake up every morning and battle with their inner demon when it comes to popping their next pill, or getting their next bag of dope. It's hard for non-addicts to realize what they go through on a daily basis which is why many people say that addiction is not a disease.

This poem just goes to show how much of a disease it really is, I have never heard an addict say that they wake up every morning excited to stick a needle in their arm and shift back and fourth between life or death. I have never heard an addict say they look back at their first score and smile with pride. What I have heard addicts say is how bad they wish they could stop or how much they want to stop hurting everyone around them.

Instead of sitting back and watching addicts go through this daily struggle, we should make it easier for them to get help. Addicts usually feel ashamed to come forward about their disease but if we had welcoming and understanding arms, more people would reach out and try and get the help they desperately need.

If addiction was looked at as the disease that it is instead of looked down upon, thousands of lives could have been saved. More addicts would've been open to the idea of getting help and more facilities could've been opened.

I hope that eventually, people will be more open to the idea of helping addicts so that no parent will ever have to walk into their child's room and find a poem like Delaney's that showed how much they were truly struggling.