Anxiety asks me to hide and to stay in the dark. It tells me that I am alone, it tells me that I am less than, but I am not alone. I am one of thousands who wrestle with anxiety on a daily basis, and I declare that anxiety is something that needs to be in the light.
- I will eat the pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Core after a panic attack; I will eat the whole container and feel no remorse.
- If I need to run to the bathroom stall, sit on the floor and cry, I will.
- Most people equate anxiety with stress and say it’s the same thing, and that’s not cool. However, I will celebrate those who understand my anxiety.
- I will talk about my anxiety, at Starbuck’s, in the library, at meals, on car rides. The more I talk about it, the more I find people who experience the same exact feelings and actions as I do...like how my pinkies go numb when having a panic attack and most days I want to cancel all my plans and watch the entire five seasons of “New Girl.”
- I will try not to run away when people are trying to help me. I will remember in the moment when I can’t catch my breath, and my tunnel vision is kicking in that if they’re chasing me, that probably means that they love me.
- I will work out, even though most days it sucks, it helps.
- When I feel a panic attack coming on, I will excuse myself instead of staying in the room, even if I have to abruptly interrupt conversations or make a scene to get away. I will remember that even though it feels like I am trapped, I almost never am.
- I will attempt to meditate and do yoga. Even though the thought of focusing on my breathing freaks me out because half the time breathing is my problem, I will focus on the knowledge that centering myself takes my anxiety from a ten to a three.
- I will take the mental health day.
- I will accept the fact that not everything on my to-do list will always get done, but the sun still comes up the next day and life goes on whether I finish the paper or not.
- I will not apologize for my anxiety.
I will acknowledge that I am never alone and that anxiety is not everything. I choose to look at the storm ahead and embrace it. I choose to go through life being mindful and present. I will live fully and abundantly, leveraging my anxiety to create something beautiful.
