I am a double major sophomore in Communications and Political Science at the University of Portland. I work three jobs so I can pay rent and bills for my house, and I compete on the Universities Mock Trial Team. I have a great position planning and programming events as a member of student government, and during winter breaks and summer breaks I am over seas working as a camp counselor.

And for a long as I can remember, I have struggled with anxiety.

It wasn’t something I could easily identify as a child, I just remember being constantly nervous or stressed – like something bad was about to happen or I was always forgetting something important. As I grew older and into high school, I began to see it as stress. Sleepless nights, the inability to eat, and proper day-to-day functioning were a few of the hurtles I struggled to jump throughout the years.

It wasn’t until sophomore year of high school when I learned what anxiety disorders were in health class that I realized I had a problem. Prior to that, I thought everyone was living life the same way I was.

It’s hard to explain what an anxiety disorder really feels like, and my own personal definition of the problem changes from day to day. Sometimes, its having one or two minor tasks to complete in a day, and for some reason your brain suffocates your ability to see these tasks for what they really are – everything becomes dire, everything seems like a very big deal. Other times, its panicking over nothing in particular, but the sensation is so paralyzing that all you can do is sit, or sleep, or drown yourself in mindless activities while your problems escalate. It can differ depending on the individual, and type of anxiety.

I never came forward about this problem, and even today I don’t talk about it in depth. I was afraid, but not for the reasons many people might think. I was afraid that talking about my anxiety would bring about change; that change being the removal of things in my life that I loved.

After simply reading the first paragraph, many of you might advise me to put “less on my plate”, or warn me not to “bite off more than I can chew.” I believe most people find think of comments like these to be a “cure” for anxiety. I also believe that comments like these are the reason many people, not just myself, are afraid to come forward about their struggles with excessive anxiety.

I love what I do. I am good at the jobs I have and the activities I take part in. Whenever the world spins a little too fast and my anxiety tells me to stay in bed or give up on the day, my love and passion for these things are what pull me out. And while they can sometimes be an attributing factor to my anxiety, more often than not, they’re what continue to save me.

It’s not easy to talk about mental health with professors, bosses, coaches, or parents, especially one like anxiety. A common thought is that the best way to reduce someone’s anxiety is to give them less responsibility; to reduce their involvement in an activity or job, or maybe even tell them to take a break from it entirely. And when the only things holding you up in the middle of your anxious, irrational moods are the things these people are telling you to reduce, hiding your problem becomes the solution.

Being anxious isn’t just about how much one might have going on in their life. All forms of anxiety, whether it be OCD, PTSD, Phobia-induced, or generalized anxiety disorders, have to do with total-body chemical imbalances that can negatively impact your brain, muscles, and much more. More than 40 million people in the U.S. alone suffer from some form of anxiety. Very few of these people seek help.

I have always been a busy person, who thrives on being involved; as someone who wants to learn. However, I have been living in constant fear that if I disclosed my problems with anxiety to anyone, I would be pushed to quit. I was afraid doctors, coaches, or bosses would try to help me by telling me to stop living the life I wanted to live. There are times in life when I have had to walk away from things that I once truly enjoyed doing. But those were decisions I made on my own accord, after a lot of thought, and a lot of conversations.

Sometimes taking less off our plates can tremendously reduce our anxiety as human beings, but it needs to be on our own accord. It’s a decision that needs to be made when we are ready, or after many conversations with people you trust. If the issue is underperformance in a club, sport, or schoolwork due to anxiety, there should be options, not punishments. The door of discussion when it comes to anxiety needs to be a safe entry – we need to readjust what we perceive to be “solutions” to anxiety problems and listen to one another.

So if you are struggling or have struggled with anxiety in the past, I encourage you to sit down with people who are ready and willing to listen, and make a plan; a plan that might involve minimization in healthy places of your life, not demolition of hobbies or interests. Some plans may involve therapy or medication, and some may not, but taking the time to evaluate yourself is worth it.

And to those who do not struggle with anxiety, we ask that you are patient with those who have disclosed to you that they do. Let us continue to work towards understanding, flexibility, and communication, rather than quick-fixes.

There are people with brilliant minds creating plans and ideas that will change the world, create art, or even save lives. We just need to give them the faith and space to do it; with or without anxiety.